Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML
Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML
Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to my crush of two years. We went to the same school for a year but then he moved to my old school and became friends with people I knew from primary school. Anyways, I finally got the courage to have a conversation with him on Instagram. Then he blocked me. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
kelciimackk 24
What an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
Teacherjen 3
You are so lucky! Now you know what he is all about and you can avoid him. If someone is just after appearance, they will always find something that needs to be fixed. The ones I feel sorry for are the blondes with a full bust. He might be nice around them at first so they may not realize what an asshole he is!
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Comments (132)
AssCancer 5
I doubt this actually happened
InfiniteSunshine 32
Really, of the 7 billion people on this planet, you don't think a situation like this could happen at least somewhere? You don't think there's at least 1 guy who can be this much of an asshole to a girl? This situation is highly plausible, probably one that is on the more plausible side.
missluca1994 14
What a f-ing ********
TheHcwalker 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He sounds really funny actually
SpyroMello 29
Yeah, demanding one changes their appearance to fit their standards is so hilarious.
neuronerd 29
I hope that ended the crush for you.
Jason_Voorhees 7
Definitely not worth it
no_one_is_home_fml 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
at least he knows that he wants
crudeandrudeguy 29
To die a lonely bitter virgin?
xrayspecs 6
Clearly a weapons grade twat. You dodged a bullet there.
Scrat382 8
What a self-opinionated asshole! What did you reply? Get some brains, then we can talk business? Definitely not worth being your crush....
Jachin357 28
What a douchebag! I bet you are beautiful the way you are OP! Find a man that loves your looks just as they are.
da_epic_failman 7
Sounds like the equivalent of when a guy says "hi" to a girl, and she says "I have a Boyfriend!"
cassiet 16
It really isn't though. Two very different scenarios
BananEnigma 24
Uh, no. No it's not.