Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML
Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML
Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to my crush of two years. We went to the same school for a year but then he moved to my old school and became friends with people I knew from primary school. Anyways, I finally got the courage to have a conversation with him on Instagram. Then he blocked me. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
kelciimackk 24
What an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
Teacherjen 3
You are so lucky! Now you know what he is all about and you can avoid him. If someone is just after appearance, they will always find something that needs to be fixed. The ones I feel sorry for are the blondes with a full bust. He might be nice around them at first so they may not realize what an asshole he is!
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Comments (132)
HorrorJr 26
Man damn
RosaMaravillosa 10
**** HIM! what a tool.
DanielleinDC 34
What a charmer. This dude needs to grow a personality. Sorry to have your dreams shattered--it sucks to find out that your crush is such a putz--but hopefully you didn't waste too much time crushing on him.
angelofsaturn 23
Guys who act like that are usually packing a gherkin so you definitely dodged a bullet there Plus he sounds like the type to berate the shit out of you for daring to gain a pound. Hopefully there is a sweeter more crushworthy dude in your future.
gamer338 3
love all the people calling him an ass but if the situation was reversed and a girl told a guy to grow a few inches and a beard theyd be praising her for being so upfront and knowing what she wants
AnonymousTruth01 4
ppfftt hahaha
interesting33 37
So he just assumed that was why you were talking to him?
Grisha_fml 18
that's not an FML, you really got lucky. He's a complete jerk that would have used you for your body.
AvidCollector 6
At least you won't have to deal with heartbreak because he'll probably cheat on whoever he's with next. These are the morons that give men a bad name.
Dextredlomax02 11
Here we see the not so rare asshole. little does he know he is insignificant to almost everything