Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML
Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML
Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to my crush of two years. We went to the same school for a year but then he moved to my old school and became friends with people I knew from primary school. Anyways, I finally got the courage to have a conversation with him on Instagram. Then he blocked me. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
kelciimackk 24
What an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
Teacherjen 3
You are so lucky! Now you know what he is all about and you can avoid him. If someone is just after appearance, they will always find something that needs to be fixed. The ones I feel sorry for are the blondes with a full bust. He might be nice around them at first so they may not realize what an asshole he is!
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Comments (132)
TheLostCauseFML 40
I hope that ended your crush, OP. He doesn't deserve your affections or adoration. He's superficial and only in to the generic and stereotypically pornographic brands. A dime a dozen. Not that blonds with big breasts are generic, so long as they are organic. Be happy with who you are and if you must be with someone, be with someone who accepts you for who you are, without beauty products or bodily enhancements.
Chazzster 32
So, that was a "maybe"?
TheLostCauseFML 40
Not only that, but you were just saying Hello. Not "Do me". If he only talks to busty blonds, then he's definitely got a screw loose in that shit for brains head of his. Smile, OP. You're better off.
kittykatmarie 5
Don't be upset. He sounds like a jerk. If he can't accept you for who you are, than he isn't worth it.
shitstorm28 11
turns out your crush was a huge douchebag. you dodged a bullet, op.
TAntobella 14
Well **** him!
GBGoodBant 11
Incest is win-cest
howbout_thisone 13
Oh, honey, consider yourself lucky!!
Tyrax 16
That's a very strange response to a "Hello."
Bunnyluver 20
Yeah, you do that and when he is chasing after you say, "Get a new personality and maybe then we can talk buisness, but that seems highly unlikely."