Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Quit it
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML
Be precise
Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML
Not the time or the place
Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Crushed
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to my crush of two years. We went to the same school for a year but then he moved to my old school and became friends with people I knew from primary school. Anyways, I finally got the courage to have a conversation with him on Instagram. Then he blocked me. FML
Crushed
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Top comments
kelciimackk 24
What an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
Teacherjen 3
You are so lucky! Now you know what he is all about and you can avoid him. If someone is just after appearance, they will always find something that needs to be fixed. The ones I feel sorry for are the blondes with a full bust. He might be nice around them at first so they may not realize what an asshole he is!
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Comments (132)
Verdeve 23
Well he can **** right off
SneakyDeath 15
He is not worth it.
LPac5295 27
Well safe to say he's not your crush anymore. What an asshole. You can find someone so much better!
mlustpdx 17
what a douche
Etweens96 25
Screw him, total jerk that guy
CaroLouWho 10
My condolences, but you really did dodge a bullet there. It's his loss. Hopefully the next crush will recognize that you're beautiful the way you are.
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
"Talk business"? Sounds like he want's to put you in a ****-film. He's an asshole. Stay well clear.
Andrewx8 12
What a legend.
trucker2 33
Don't waste your time with people like that.... They need you to make themselves look good....
Nappa_fml 2
Ah ha, the who can be the biggest **** in a fledgling relationship tables turn.