Anonymous
United States
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
andy
Long Beach, United States
Knowledge is power
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
baby names
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
lawdy
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
anotherfmladdict
Muscatine, United States
Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Dor51
Tacoma, United States
Cool rapper name
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
noway
Cholet, France
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
-___-
Stockholm, Sweden
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
BlackRavenWings
United States
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Top comments
desireev 18
What is wrong with parents nowadays?! Do they hate their kids? There was a mother who was on the news because she named her child "Facebook Me Soon".. WTF?!?!
ihasbrains 10
Heard people would name their kids things like Sparta so that they could introduce them like this: 'THIS, IS, SPARTA!' Gotta admit, it's kind of funny.
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Comments (428)
ieatmusicxD 0
Kids at my school with last name Katz. Alley, Tom, and Tabby.
Escalators 1
Seems like there's a lot of ass parents out there that should re-evaluate their life before attempting to raise children. Especially if they **** up on the first decision.
4ugu4 7
... Damn.
doglover100 29
What's with parents naming their kids weird names?
doglover100 29
Soon people will be naming their kids Facebook. There should be something where the hospital approves a name. There was a couple who named their kids Adolf Hitler and another name that had to do with Hitler's army or someone associated with him. How did that fly by the doctors? Did no one try to talk them out of it? It wasn't until the boy was 3 or 4 when this caught the media's attention and the kids got taken away and renamed. The mom wanted a birthday cake but the bakery wouldn't write the name and called CPS.
The_9th_Doctor 18
the hell is wrong with people today.
fantasyworld 39
Hospitals should just approve of names.
xx_alexmagm_xx 12
Not as bad as when a woman wanted to name her daughter Shrek
yackieegx 18
I know a girl who's name is princess jasmine .... Like the Disney princess.
Dynamite73 25
Good ol' U.S of A.