Today, having had previous bad luck with getting ghosted on my Hinge dates, I told a guy I served in the Marines to impress him and hopefully score a second date. I'd told him I did my basic training at Fort Leonard Wood. He frowned and said, "That's a US Army training base." He got up and left me with the bill. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with someone I met on a dating site. We hit it off, until he noticed the MAGA sticker on the back of my phone. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and never came back. I had to pay for both meals and explain to the waiter why I was practically crying into my bowl of noodles. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML
Today, the guy I'd met online ghosted me because I’d left dead skin residue on his toilet seat. FML
Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
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Top comments
soundsfakebutok 10
yeaaa stolen valor isn’t a good look
DLBL 23
Shame on you! You deserve it. Lying about who you are, and trying to claim you're a Marine? Do you know what REAL Marine training and service is like? You're a disgrace.
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Comments (3)
soundsfakebutok 10
yeaaa stolen valor isn’t a good look
DLBL 23
Right! Stolen valor is one of the few things that make me truly angry.
DLBL 23
Shame on you! You deserve it. Lying about who you are, and trying to claim you're a Marine? Do you know what REAL Marine training and service is like? You're a disgrace.
GoogieWithers 25
YDI, Not only did you lie. You did a terrible job of it.