Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Was it a bloodhound? Those bitches are crazy, period.
ICastillo 25
That would be interesting, I bet you were yelling for penis to bring back your tampon applicator. The neighbors think you way crazy now.
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Comments (70)
spikekutter 9
sorry 32 it did say she was running in her underwear so i guess my brain wanted me to imagine her running naked for some reason..
naya_bingi 11
Learn the difference between commenting on the FML and replying to your own comment!!!
BellaBelle_fml 23
spikekutter; Based on almost every single one of your comments, you sound like an unintelligent, immature, and completely creepy horn dog. I suggest that you seriously consider either getting help before you comment again, or just stop commenting entirely.
winkydog4056 16
Well, lets all just hope the string wasn't hanging out of the underwear.
outoftown 27
Multitasking at it's best: save the dog from choking, and entertain the neighbors at the same time.
charliebot 4
Why was your door open for him to get outside?
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
Hey.. I wouldn't mind seeing that xD
jonmansheppard 9
"Give me my damn tampon applicator back you dirty-" "Nice underwear, lady" "****! NOT AGAIN!"
vicgeo92 4
Ya sorry that was a dumbass move. But at least you admitted it
padajuan 11
I don't get Americans. Do you all leave your front doors open while walking about in your underwear with a dog on the loose?
CharresBarkrey 16
Yes, because one person's FML = something every single American does. For shame.
hatingyourlife 1
The **** does being American have to do with leaving a door open?
dukefoiegras 7
Well..free show for your neighbor. :)
Donat96 20
Lucky neighbors.