Today, the new heart medication I take makes it hard for me to get an erection. It also gives me gas. My wife is getting sick of me farting when we're finally able to screw. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML
Today, my wife, who NEVER wants to have sex, decided that now is the time. I, of course, had to take antibiotics that make me so bloated I can’t move without extreme pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML
Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML
Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML
Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
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Top comments
WintressSoldier37 27
Your wife seriously needs to be more understanding! Life happens. Sorry OP
TCRII 30
First of all, let’s all agree that 69 is out of the question.....
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Comments (9)
WintressSoldier37 27
Your wife seriously needs to be more understanding! Life happens. Sorry OP
TCRII 30
First of all, let’s all agree that 69 is out of the question.....
RichardPencil 32
I agree! And definitely not a rusty trombone!
Allsmash123 10
Your pfp is a girl how are you gonna get an erection lol
RichardPencil 32
I know it's not virile to have trouble getting an erection, but you don't have to classify yourself as a woman.
Mathalamus 25
Let’s see, staying Ali e with no erection and farts, or risking death. It’s an easy choice.
26octhumbug 13
Talk to your doctor, there might be alternatives to consider
kt80_9800 12
Tell your doctor about this there are often other alternatives. But please don’t just stop taking them or you’ll be even worse off in the end.
Jonkbaby 23
I wonder if I have that same medication, I've been farting it up lately
BurnInDemonFire 39
Buy a buttplug.