Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Was it a bloodhound? Those bitches are crazy, period.
ICastillo 25
That would be interesting, I bet you were yelling for penis to bring back your tampon applicator. The neighbors think you way crazy now.
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Comments (70)
gioo_fml 6
How did your dog get outside....you open the door so you could get some attention???
BobbieH 19
The applicator is just cardboard or plastic, it won't hurt your dog in anyway that should cause you to run outside, chasing them in your underwear.
WolfFang2 2
Perdix: you comment on everything. it's almost as if your everywhere at the same time... OH **** I JUST SCARED MYSELF. jk lol
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Thanx 4 the laugh because that visual cracked me up. I could totally imagine a dog doing that. :)
kkillaj 5
Op are you by any chance blond?
fyl7899 12
55 - Wow, people will grasp at straws to say anything they can about Americans, even if it's a completely stupid accusation.