Kids: Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out...

dani0810 22 January 2013, 11:39 Sudbury, Canada

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

66 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

doomeddaddy This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United States

I just can't hide it

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

98 comments

TiredMommy 21 April 2017, 00:00 Southbridge, United States

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

16 comments

Anonymous 17 April 2017, 00:00 Moonee Ponds, Australia

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

13 comments

Anonymous 26 December 2021, 02:01

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

5 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff United States

Nice day for it

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

161 comments

fml9124 21 December 2019, 05:00

New urinal

Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML

6 comments

shouldve used a condom 29 June 2022, 14:00

Boys will be annoying boys

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

3 comments

dogggg 14 July 2014, 02:10 Pune, India

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

77 comments

Anonymous 20 July 2022, 02:00 United States

When you gotta go…

Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML

6 comments

Lauren Davies This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Paper-thin walls

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

11 comments

OhDearBetrayal 25

22 January 2013, 18:42

He'll go far in life. I imagine him becoming a free living environmentalist because of his interest in reusable resources.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

22 January 2013, 18:43

Chin up, it would be worse if he was 14.

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Comments (66)

panicsdisaster 17

22 January 2013, 19:26

Does he spend most of his time with the family pet?

Coop817 19

22 January 2013, 19:38

Send him to obedience school

tj5810 21

23 January 2013, 21:35

...or break out the rolled up newspaper next time.

TJhudson181 12

22 January 2013, 19:49

You wouldn't happen to be a dog would you?

missamberrose 17

22 January 2013, 19:50

There are such things as toilet seat locks. A four year old isn't very big, and it doesn't take a lot of water to drown someone. I'd splurge on those locks before something tragic happens if I were you.

Myo_fml 20

22 January 2013, 20:57

That would be horrible. The little fella would slip and his face would be submerged and then he might have his arms pinned in the bowl and be unable to maneuver to get out. OP, get on a solution this fml can become much much worse.