Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
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Top comments
cdatribe23 0
hahaha sounds like my sister... she's 14.
giantsfan2010 23
I really hope you punished him for that.
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Comments (161)
giantsfan2010 23
I really hope you punished him for that.
KiwiLime 0
yeah, seriously! that is just disturbing.
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
But he really had to go. D: All she has to do is grab his hand and run away from the 'crime' scene.
BREADEDELF 3
I usually squat over open man holes when I really have to go. Especially when I'm 5 years old and could quite possibly fall in and die. But y'know, if you gotta go...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
rub his nose in it, it's the only way he'll learn.
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
Rofl, ^^^. My mom did that to my dog.... I cried!
thecrazyasian 3
saves the need to flush
EffinAhole 0
He's lucky a Ninja Turtle didn't jump out and kick his ass!
MC_Cracker 0
euthanize the thing gross
Thunderpants12 2
Hahahaha! That is awesome. Your son is ok in my book.
gggfrt 0
at least it wasn't in his pants
GoSmegma 0
that's really dangerous...you should pay more attention to your child!
crazycornn 0
I dunno, I think that the parent wasn't doing much wrong by not expecting their kid to take a shit in a manhole while their head was turned...
supernice 0
the kid is five, the parent should expect their son to do stupid stuff and they should pay more attention. a 5 year old could have easily fallen down and died.
raesolis86 0
Omg you fail as a parent
eljacko 1
@ #35 I laughed so hard I sprayed spittle all over the monitor. Basically, what I'm saying is curse you and your funniness!
cdatribe23 0
hahaha sounds like my sister... she's 14.
MidgetMonster 0
omg
game94 0
hahahahhaha :D
Crimsonhead 0
Where'd he learn that? You're the one raising him. Monkey see, monkey do.
whatfml 0
I think it bad enough you let your son onto a street while your looking through windows. best parent ever (Y)
QWERTYCommander 5
No, the best parents are the ones who think they can critique other parent's behavior over the internet.
brennaaa13 11
My parents don't do anything like that, and I probably would. Parent sometimes don't have anything to do with it.
x_pgmg 3
lmfao how random xD Guess he really had to go, watch your kid more closely and always ask if he has to go!
aekkoukla 0
this brings the question "did he fall in" to a whole new level.
DrunkTerrorist 0
how do you not notice your son taking a shit, like seriously come on now
GoingLesbian 0
What? you turn your head for a split moment, his drawers are dropped and his face goes red. Seems beyond possible to me.
BeautifulDizaztr 0
Hmmm,...yeah this is normal. You mean everyone doesn't randomly shit in the street? I foresee years of therapy in that kids future.
brt3420 13
I love your child!
mite_fml 0
what was he supposed to do then?
georggx 3
you should take better care of him.. god knows what else could of happened whilst you weren't looking..
bamagrl410 31
Seriously. OP needs to learn to keep an eye on the kid rather than the store window. He couldn't walked into the street and gotten hot by a car or been snatched up from the sidewalk by someone. Not necessarily very likely, but probably just as likely as the fact that he took a dump in a manhole hahaha.
lillypilly35 0
how bout holding his hand so he doesn't run away or SHIT INTO A MANHOLE!!
EffinAhole 0
thank you!
deaper 16
Yes sir! I second that THANK YOU! you're damn LUCKY your kid didn't FALL into the manhole! DUMBASS!
rgermain 0
that kids got skills. I'm not a very good public hoverer.