Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
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Top comments
RainbowDashie140 12
Playboy level: Your Son
Marty20612 5
Lol that's funny:) He's already a lady's man
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Comments (132)
lowshadows 21
I think we just found his calling.
stacey_92 12
you need to check into that daycare and see how they are with the children, something like that is very wrong especially for a child so young.
bamagrl410 31
Thank you! Everyone else thinks it's funny or cute, yet they're the first to complain when someone manipulates them or causes a fight. This type of behavior is not okay, especially not for a child. He had to have learned it somewhere, and at such a young age it's more likely that he learned it from someone he's close to.
Enslaved 38
Hidden candy in the Underoos works at any age.
kumonsucks 7
Lets face it OP your son's a stud or a complete jackass
\ 28
Maybe he's a future despot!
StoryOfTheYear 15
"You're all acting like little ki... nevermind."
loldatssad 12
Kid's got skills.
dancinwookie 21
"I'm not a playa, I just crush a lot"
mimikinsz01 6
This generation gets crazier and crazier. Lol
M3DIC4T3 29
Shut up with your "generation" comments. You're not funny or being original.
born_hustla 26
Pimpin' ain't easy!