Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
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Top comments
imafmlluver 6
MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw
kickazz16 15
It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!
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Comments (679)
lantern 6
Aw come on, dubstep bashing? Your dad sounds like a chiller to me~
FYLDeep 26
Play Stairway to Heaven or something and snap him out of it.
TicklingIsFun 0
What if it doesn't snap him out of it? 0.0
FYLDeep 26
Euthanasia? ...It's for his own good really.
brianjman14 23
I would have suggested Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, but that works, too!
brick_man33 14
your dad must have been stoned out of his mind, that explains the sunglasses indoors. By his music selection he must have been, srillex is shit dubstep.
iSnortWaffles 7
Skrillex is amazing. 'Nough said.
killmepls511 0
**** you. Skrillex is the shit!!!
gypsyy839 0
skrillex is awesome. and you obviously suck.
ArmadasRebellion 1
Vice versa for both those things you just said
itchybhole 2
Dot talk shot about skrillex
brianjman14 23
Dot bootcher the English langauj.
kansah 25
Hahahahahahaha omg
LADiiL0KA24 11
Are u high?? Skrillex is ****** awesome
ArmadasRebellion 1
You're the one that's high
Fugitive5873 1
rap is better the skilled. end of story.
taylortot211 2
Hey! Don't hate on Skrillex!!!