Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
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Top comments
imafmlluver 6
MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw
kickazz16 15
It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!
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Comments (679)
OhHaiix3 2
Don't hate on Skrillex! :(
SpeshulK 0
Rap does NOT have a meaning behind each song. Making a song about going to a club doesn't give it a "meaning"
whyarepeopledumb 2
I know this isn't relevant, but there is nowhere else to say it. Has anyone moderated fml's lately? Because I've been doing it for the past 10 minutes or so, and I'm yet to find one that doesn't sound like it was written by a retarded sixth grader.
Sirin_fml 47
Welcome to my world. I should submit an FML about it.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Every time I moderate I end up having to stop shortly after because it's really hard to see through the tears streaming down my eyes. It's a tragic sight.
FYLDeep 26
It bothers me on that rare occasion that you read a really good one that doesn't get published. Or even a mediocre one where you just happen to think of a great comment that you could post had it been published.
poemqueen 15
Why does it have to be one or the other? I listen to skrillex and rap. (honestly I listen to everything) Just cause you personally think that rap is a horrible type of music doesn't mean that op likes it because they don't listen to skrillex!
kansah 25
Jesus Christ anything would be better than Sxrillex. If you're going to listen to dubstep make it good stuff.
OpinionsFTW 0
I agree with this smart human being!
TicklingIsFun 0
Everyone has their views.
stoneywoney 3
**** y'all
kansah 25
Thank you, thank you.
mcmayo16 4
eeeew. 0.o LOL
poemqueen 15
Not all rap songs are like that. Go old school. Or actually listen to something other than Usher and the stuff they are calling rap today.
SpeshulK 0
71) agreed, I can actually listen to the older stuff. I'm assuming they're talking about the current rap though
NoYDI 4
Break* just saying so the mods can fix it
stillxsearching 3
skrillex is great. YDI for having crap taste in music ...