Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML
Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML
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Top comments
UhHuhHoney 20
Lol your grandma is a thug
swaglesshipster 23
That is love right there. She even got you out of work to spend time with you!
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Comments (128)
swaglesshipster 23
That is love right there. She even got you out of work to spend time with you!
incoherentrmblr 22
OP is gender-less, but I assume they're male. At least you got out of work...
addisonrose12 16
She... As in the grandma.
EatUrGreens 20
#27 was talking about the OP, not the grandma *facepalm*
xleanne_aLly 23
Lol my gram did the same thing with me! Except it was twilight. Not a better love story in this case.
littlemantn 7
Still a better love story than twilight. always a better love story than twilight
_sucks2suck_ 7
Actually 50 Shades and twilight are the same love story 50 Shades is just an adult version of twilight.
angeluv_2014 22
is it though?
animalxcrackers 20
@111, it is, actually. 50 Shades was originally twilight fanfic.
Queenie2014 11
Both romanticize abuse so they're both shit
UhHuhHoney 20
Lol your grandma is a thug
Harold6858 9
Your relationship will never be the same.
AverageJoey 18
At least she loves you.
Morning_fml 22
She wants to go see a public porno with her GRANDCHILD. That's not love, that's awkward and gross.
Araj_Hs 19
Granny and 50 shades of grey? This 2 things cannot go together :|
finalyearsofhate 22
Hate to break it to you, but older people still have sex lives.
blackonblight 33
Granny's sex life being anything like that abomination should be a hint OP should get her help.
SideOfTheAngels 23
Your grandma's into some pretty kinky stuff....maybe just look the other way?? Like, literally.
peceout 29
I'm guessing you felt fifty shades of horror when your grandma came.
TDog3337 12
Wait... do you mean came or "came"?
buckstop1 37
#26... Stahp
False_Stupidity 42
Just no. That is just way too disturbing #26.
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
phrasing! boom
unidentifieduser 23
Your grandma is living life to the fullest. Good for her!
JKPwnage 27
Doesn't matter, got out of work. Although 50 Shades Of Domestic Violence might not be the best place to go with a grandparent
HyunnK 18
He got her sign a contract agreeing to the physical abuse that will come with being his sex slave. So what "Domestic Violence" are you talking about?
shepp626 11
Nevermind the fact that a contract like that doesn't matter at all legally, he's controlling and abusive outside the bedroom. It is in no way an accurate depiction of a BDSM relationship, the guy is just a creep tied with an expensive kinky bow.
fancy_98 19
#49 he ignored her safe word. In the BDSM community, if you ignore a person's safe word, it's no longer safe and is counted as assault. If it's not domestic violence and just "BDSM", why is the BDSM community so against it? I mean they'd be making sure it's known that it's all just BDSM, yet they're the ones calling it domestic violence.
JayVicious 20
in BDSM the sub is the one that holds the power. (looks the other way around from the outside but still) the dom cant do anything to the sub that the sub isnt comfortable with. if the dom does, then that is when the relationship turns abusive. and that contract is BS and would only work in literature...and only then if the author wanted it to.
nitrog100 21
The contract is more for Christian than it is for Anastasia. I mean, it's not like I'm into that sort of trashy literature, but from what I understand, he's not comfortable with the relationship unless the woman signs a contract. It's more about giving him peace of mind about the whole situation than about absolute control.
Rawrshi 25
As an active member of the BDSM community I would like to say that yes, even those in BDSM despise this trash and the movie it spawned. It had nothing to do with BDSM and gives those in BDSM a bad rep. Not to mention puts young would be submissives in danger by not stressing the importance of safewords and consent while giving the impression they have little power over what happens to them and "no" isn't an option. People have been injured, raped, and even KILLED because of this series. Just no. Christian Grey is a Dom-ass who took advantage of a young, impressionable virgin and Stockholm Syndrome. If you look up patterns of abuse it fits him to a T. If he was unattractive, broke, and worked in fast food people would be screaming abuse but because he's charismatic, has money, and looks nice it's romance? No.
wackyducky13 11
Sorry she got you worried but at least you played hooky from work to go to see a movie.