Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
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Top comments
imafmlluver 6
MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw
kickazz16 15
It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!
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Comments (679)
ppeanutbutter 1
MOTHER OF GOD. SKRILLEX. FTW.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
So its either Skrillex or rap in your little black & white world? I feel sorry for you, honestly.
liy223 6
I can honestly think of worse things.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Like Lil Wayne.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Sitting through the Justin Beiber Christmas album?
ibeinpain 5
There's a worse to every situation, except the worst situation.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
**** yea I'll join him on his acid trip.
zurisbloodyrose 0
I'm going to comment here cause no one is arguing like a bunch of idiots on this one.
ImD3vin 6
LOL. Skrillex isn't too bad, but I won't worship him like some people on here..
MelTheGreat 23
Dads do the darnedest things.
davy187 0
that my friend is called a midlife crisis
Abrien 8
SUnglasses? Skrillex? This was no psychotic break, your dad was just rolling real hard, make sure he drinks plenty of water!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Give him a binky so he doesn't break his jaw.
MurphyS94 4
ShroomsOnAcid; I love your picture. Actually pertaining to the FML; OP, suck it up. Your life could be much worse. He could be blaring Justin Bieber's newest Christmas album. Last and definitely least: I wish that whenever there was an FML posted relating to any specific genre or band, a million people DIDN'T rush in to post about how much they love or hate a genre. Music is an opinion, people. It doesn't define you. Ok, that's all I have to say. On to the next post.
stariee1997 16
Skrillex is better than the words in the lyrics of today's songs. Skrillex is ******* awesome!
Babydoll4ever 7
No, my friend. You've got it all wrong.
himoonkey 8
No, my friend, she got it all right.
t765234 10
Your comment does not make ANY sense grammatically. Unless, of course, you're saying that scrillex is better than the lyrics themselves, in which case, well, no, he isn't better than the words either.
mrsm13 11
No I agree with the description in the story above its more like screams from hell than music...
perdix 31
Does Skrillex do a cover of Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night?"
FYLDeep 26
No, that type of music isn't a good fit to cover since it requires that you have knowledge of how to play instruments.
NAU_future 7
Yes! Perdix that was the exact song I thought of while reading this FML. Glad I found it somewhere among the 9 pages of comments.
perdix 31
FYLDeep, glad to see you around after what happened to our beloved Packers. This was the game I feared.
FYLDeep 26
The only player that was any good today was the punter. That was bad.