Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML
Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
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Top comments
imafmlluver 6
MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw
kickazz16 15
It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!
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Comments (679)
Stormdriven37 6
Don't hate on skrillex
xsoul666x 5
Skrillex is the shit, FYL.
upyourzlolz 11
I guess the noise will make the neighbors... CALL 911!!
jesus1234566 0
*** yeah! Haha tht was pretty good haha
stoneywoney 3
It's uh call 911....NOW!!
upyourzlolz 11
Yes, but then the FML is in past-tense, so saying "now" would make it in the present, which wouldn't make sense, would it?
flockz 20
if your neighbors complain about the noise, say you're watching robot ****.
himoonkey 8
Nah skrillex is boss
M3gzilla 5
You are right!!! Your life does suck, because you are too dumb to realize that Skrillex is amazing
yohooooooo 5
at least rap has a meaning behind every song. dubstep is just a bunch of robotic sex screams put together.
Hellzone17 2
Skrillex is awesome. Just cause its not something your into is no reason to put it down like your the voice for everyone
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Dude. The point is that he has to sit through it since his dad likes it.
akichan15 5
*you're.
cupcake1123 0
no dude, your dad was high.
jessimica642 8
Haha yeah your dads obviously cooler then you
causticgirl 6
It is odd behavior for a dad. Keep a close eye on him. Watch for the signs...check the back of his neck.