Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML
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Top comments
Someone648 10
Chocolate raisins?
Pleonasm 36
Grapes of Bath- By John Steinbeck.
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Comments (112)
Someone648 10
Chocolate raisins?
ryry013 6
Try them. Maybe they're good. I regret that
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
My thoughts exactly... eat that shit! *pun/sarcasm intended*
LolPieRofl 11
Lol i read that as "Chocolate Rain" Oh, Chad Vader...
cristy91 33
Maybe the baby with raisins is like that asian civet with coffee beans. Collect them!
gc327072 31
^lmao homemade Kopi Luwak
brett1506 12
That's funny because I had the exact same thing happen with my brother when bathing him. Don't even think about trying them, they taste like shit.
His_Holiness 18
Thank you for that #1 I'm going to go throw up some chocolate raisins I just ate.
False_Stupidity 42
At least you know your raisin him right.
fina444 10
Lol that's hilarious
LightningCactus 12
Is it now?
TJhudson181 12
I bet it's even funnier when you have to clean it up after.
fuzion50 6
You can't call this an FML. The child was not fully potty trained, so they think they can poop wherever. I did LOL at the image of raisins coming out one by one though.
Roevera 14
That's pretty funny, I would have laughed.. Until I realized I was the one that had to clean it up.
happle 21
You have a very nice work ethic.
ipierson 5
Too bad they didn't come out as grapes.
AStraub 4
That can happen. It happened to my fiancé
MrSassypants 34
Your fiancé ate raisins and they came out as grapes? That's crazy awesome! He must have some sort of deaging digestive system. Maybe he should eat old people and make them babies again....
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Oh my Mrsassypants...
buckdharma 38
I would'nt want a glass of that wine.
Ddevon 4
Not to be "that guy" but if the raisin came out a grape it was because it got rehydrated not deaged.
chowE_fml 4
So If I put a raisin in water it will turn back into a grape?
Catkam623 27
Yes
buckdharma 38
But if you put one in your mouth and it comes out a grape, technically it's still shit.
crazytwinsmom 25
Rehydrating old people gets rid of some of the wrinkles.
andyyroxx 20
Rehydrating young 'uns gets 'em all pruny though.
smartman136 8
1 feed her money 2 collect product 3 ?????? 4 winrar
alphabetsoup25 4
So if you put old people in a bathtub, they will become babies?!? Cool!
pipinya 8
104 - maybe that's why the elderly enjoy their bath times so much
Dadothy 8
That'll be a good story to tell them when they're older
ryry013 6
That's just wonderful. Hopefully they were small enough to go down the drain so you didn't have to fish them out yourself.
cristy91 33
I thought with bathtubs you can't just put whatever you want down there since it clogs? Or I've just been bathing in a subpar tub.
MyCommentsSuck 21
That is both hilarious and gross. And I'm sure just one of the many things you'll be learning as the little one grows up.
heliraptor 13
Clorox, for life's bleach-able moments!
klovemachine 24
ah yeah :-D
ManicGypsy 22
I really need to stop reading FML while eating at the computer.
lilhellian 27
Or exchange your stomach for a stronger one?:D
sonuskos 6
What! FML is at its finest when reading on the toilet
outoftown 27
You silly! Don't you know FML is a diet aid?
The_F3rris 11
Are you eating raisins?
Pleonasm 36
Grapes of Bath- By John Steinbeck.
simoncat 11
Brilliant!
Jacksparrow72 21
Agatha Raisin and the case of the dirty bath water.
loserman67 36
A Raisin in my Son - by Lorraine Hansberry
toelie 26
The Curious Incident of the Raisin in the Bath-time...
bamagrl410 31
78 - Clearly by the thumbs down, not too many people here recognize the book reference you made. Well played.
Pleonasm 36
It's the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. But I didn't like that book, personally, and most of the other references had some sort of rhyme or pun to it, which this didn't, which may be why it got thumbed down.