Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
jeezburger12 10
That's a very smart thing to say to your boss...
Outsider_77 0
You forgot to say "is a wonderful woman" afterwards
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Comments (228)
jeezburger12 10
That's a very smart thing to say to your boss...
n_epic_fail 14
If you're going to talk back to your boss, you should be able to do better than "your mom."
boating_guy 33
Well now that your fired, go do his mom then rub it in his face. Then go back as a customer and just give em hell!
biggestfan23 11
OP is an idiot simple as that. Fails to realize that past employers can affect if people hire him in the future
tjv3 10
You are a moron OP. maybe once you mature and learn some respect you can get another job
hinchkongfang 0
68, maybe once you learn the difference between you and YOU'RE, you can become one of the big kids.....
noeoee 3
70, what is wrong with 68's message?
gojira666 7
Your Dad!!..uhh i mean your sister!
bri5083 9
What happened to thinking before you speak OP?(:
leogirl95 12
Immaturity will lead you down the wrong path OP
HaraAishi 8
If you don't put them down on an application or check the box do not contact, then problem solved. I left a job after minimal heads up, that didn't prevent me from getting a job. I was straight up told that I was fired from a job and still got a new one. All OP has to say, if questioned, is that there was a conflict. My GM hired me because he knew my reason for being fired and knew my former boss was a ********. Stop being holier-than-thou.
downtime 13
22, Only if you allow your future employer to know of the existence of your past employer...
leilaostara 1
I agree with u. OP is a legend.
PenisJam 2
You are a ******* retard!! You're a ******* retard!!! So now shut the **** up.
humorizer 14
Apparently #70, the Grammar Master, is not aware of the fact that mature is both a verb and adjective. He assumed that you have to say "you're mature". Cute.
Margemander 4
The first time I read this I thought he came back with "Yes, Mom." I laughed. Now that I know it was "Your mom" I feel disappointed. That's a pitiful comeback and should be reserved for goofing off with your friends.
RrLSf19 0
The OP must be 13. YDI dumbass
Jeffers123 5
Wow guys.. I thought it was funny, why don't u all grow a pair.
RrLSf19 0
Maybe it is but theres a time and place for that and OP was not in the right place.
Xianthos 2
I find it funny aswell! Come on its his ****** life not yours. Get over it and allow you to enjoy this funny moment. Arent we all here to laugh?
blondbrunette916 0
70, 68 was using mature as a VERB. Dipshit.
WinterPerfection 3
I wonder why that happened?!?!
Epsilonyx 15
Because there IS something rotten in Denmark, and it's his PISS. POOR. ATTITUUUDE. (brownie points for those who understand the reference)
Imacrowd 9
Isn't that Hamlet? I love brownies :)
Epsilonyx 15
Well...I guess you technically got it right. I'll give you a clownie! (a brownie that's close, but not quite there)
MommaMuff 6
84- you ruin it by asking.
13whatsername13 0
Ha! Sassy gay friend :)
Epsilonyx 15
^ brownie points for you!
ladyLALAA 29
At least you left with a bang!
lifeguardd 0
Yee hahahaa that's a pretty boss story for his friends, stupid but boss!
cjlerch 29
Actually, I think he left without it.
Outsider_77 0
You forgot to say "is a wonderful woman" afterwards
bitchslapped22 14
For some reason I read 'afterward' as 'backward' and I was really confused, and spent about 10 seconds trying to figure it out...
TheAbdoKiller 2
58, You rocks!
mom2pen 4
Learn to keep your trap shut. Life will be so much easier when you keep it in your brain.
BeefyQueef 5
And in your pants.
xoxokelsey11 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
HA. Maybe you are to sarcastic- new job?
Monkeybuttcream 4
-----------Job Opening-------------- Looking for an ignorant asshole with poor social skills/ lack of work ethic/ no moral backbone who displays a clear lack of respect for others. Knowledge of "your mom" is preferred. OP! You should totally apply!
SadinSherman 16
I didn't know the DMV was looking for new employees
ProhibitionRose 14
Not only are you sarcastic but you're disrespectful. Good luck getting a new job and keeping it.
TheDrifter 24
With that level of stupidity, it's a wonder that anyone hired him.
deafeningsilence 8
^^^This
jamesds92 0
sometimes things slip out he didn't say he did It on purpose. so that doesn't mean he's disrespectful. grow up.
ProhibitionRose 14
Regardless of whether it came out accidentally or not, the respectful thing to do is be polite to your boss. Especially apologetic if you ****** up and your job is on the line. Maybe you need to grow up if you don't realize how blatantly disrespectful (not to mention pathetically immature) to respond "your mom" to something your boss says. If you don't have that kind of joking relationship with him/her, keep your mouth shut, especially during a discussion about you being too sarcastic.
iXavier101 4
Nah it's not your fault at allllll
demonmonkey 13
What! There's no such thing as too much sarcasm!
soupisyummy 13
Oh you poor, poor creature.