Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
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Top comments
NoOneCaresReally 8
You will, your mum's obviously the next noah!
xactownife 7
She doesn't have very long to build her boat :o
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Comments (62)
chubbybunny963 7
At least she's preparing? Some people are taking this end of the world apocalypse too seriously...one of my neighbors has just bought himself a yacht and has fulfilled his bucket list. All things he cannot possibly afford.
YoungMisfit 9
I will take any chance to live my dream of an apocalypse. I'm sure there is others too. I'm hoping for zombies.
YoungMisfit 9
I have a survival bag ready just incase shit does goes down soon.
thatKidzmOm 10
Did you read Forrest Griffins survival guide? It's full of useful stuff! Go buy it now!
YoungMisfit 9
I've just read ever Max Brooks book
FlyingPie 17
I wood think people would be a bit smarter than that. But water you going to do?
crazytwinsmom 25
One of the funniest FMLs yet! Most of the time I just shake my head, but this one really made me laugh.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Not that I'm an expert in the bible, but the world isn't supposed to end by water again. Then again, god likes to troll.
winfieldALJD 6
Yeah, have you heard about his latest joke? "Dinosaurs!"
gracehi 33
I always found God's promise in that story to be a little strange. "Here's a rainbow. I promise I will never destroy the Earth with water again..." "Yay! Humanity is safe from God's wrath!" "...Next time I'll use fire." "...Oh." :(
SqueakyChipmunk 22
If he's gonna use something to kill us all, use cuteness. Make something so cute, it makes everyone's head implode.
wironandine 8
Cause the bible is true right?
AtomicRebirth 11
Has your mom heard of this wonderful place called the Hope Depot?
gracehi 33
Hope Depot? Where can I find this place? I've been running low on hope ever since I heard about our planet's impending doom on this month.
AtomicRebirth 11
Wow, that's an interesting typo. I guess I should pay more attention to what I'm writing.
gracehi 33
A world wide flood? *whew* My walrus brethren and I will probably be okay.
Enslaved 38
What a dummy mom you have! Why not just go to Home Depot, buy a ton of plywood, and charge it on her credit card? Since the world is ending (according to her) she wouldn't have to worry about paying that credit card bill. . .ever!
rattusrattus 19
This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but with your mother stealing your wooden furniture.
KiddNYC1O 22
May I have your mom's info?