Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
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Top comments
NoOneCaresReally 8
You will, your mum's obviously the next noah!
xactownife 7
She doesn't have very long to build her boat :o
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Comments (62)
JoeGrant 12
Well, she has a point, I mean, there's only 12 days left!
buckdharma 38
Today, I woke up in 40 foot of water. I managed to swim up to a boat, but some crazy lady kept hitting me in the head with a table leg. FML
thatKidzmOm 10
That's just creepy dude.
momo1972 3
Would feel foolish complain about it if she is right?
HighlandShadows 48
I'm curious... If your mom believes the world is truly coming to an end, what the hell does she think having a boat is going to do?
mpena616 7
She outsmarted the world!
JustFMLME 7
Call the cops for stealing your property.
strawberryspacejam 11
dumbfucks still believe in that bullshit? come on guys nasa just confirmed that the world will not end
caitiebug1119 15
I'm just amazed she didn't just take the top of the table and a leg (for an oar to paddle). If your table is big enough, it could be a decent raft in calm weather. It's still insane that she thinks a scrappy raft will survive an apocalypse, I'm just saying she ignored a huge potential raft base.
_TasteTheRainbow 24
Your mom sounds like a total idiot.