Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
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Top comments
NoOneCaresReally 8
You will, your mum's obviously the next noah!
xactownife 7
She doesn't have very long to build her boat :o
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Comments (62)
GothickNihilist 15
Did anyone else think of Waterworld?
Trai 6
No
Ginyoshi 5
My original thought when reading this FML - How are table legs useful for building a boat?
CallmeRyuzaki 0
Yeah I know right? Maybe she's building a steam boat and she's collecting fire wood.
pradip 26
I guesh seah thowght it wud cum in handi as a *****
wolfhausen 7
I'm really not getting what you're doing there. @47
pradip 26
51- u could've asked me before thumbing me down, "I guess she thought it would come in handy as a oar" Now you're thinking thumbing me down was right. Right?
mercsl65 7
I hope your home is not the same home as your moms. If so you might want to move. Cause yo momma is guano crazy!
wickedninja918 1
no just no
olpally 33
Well, you can't blame her, we did run out of twinkies. D: take the hints op! Lol.
rhevenge 19
i would take her house key away from her and change all the locks
Chanti_fml 26
If you take the key, there is no need for changing the locks.
wickedninja918 1
that's already been said
anythingmustbe 18
Last time I checked the world was going to end by the planet niberu hitting earth not a flood so... Yeah boats are the definitely the best defense against rogue flying planets. SO THANK YOUR MUM OP.
TurquoiseJesus 15
I was thinking just an umbrella would do fine against a rogue planet. Silly me.
rattusrattus 19
My plans for the Mayan apocalypse? Spicy chocolate cupcakes. I'm not planning any survival strategies, I just really like cupcakes.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Pinkie would be proud.
muldrowe 6
Lmao this is awesome
suboy 10
Um, your mom wouldnt happen to be bipolar huh.
CharresBarkrey 16
I would like to invite you to look up "bipolar" in a dictionary.
suboy 10
.
suboy 10
Well seeing as though people who are bipolar tend to come up with crazy ideas and will do anything to see those ideas through id say this scenario fits that part wouldnt you say. That is why i asked.
Twisted_Angel 17
Lmao!! And, when the world ends, once everything dries up, she'll give you back your furniture... hopefully. I'm curious how she thinks she's going to survive the world ending... does she think everyone that's not on her boat is going to die, but she will be spared? your mom's a few noodles short of a stir fry OP. change your locks.