Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, my ex asked me to take the kids for the day, which was odd as it's her weekend. My son let slip that she was getting ready for a surprise birthday party, but I wasn't supposed to know. As it's my birthday in 3 days, I was touched that she'd planned something. Turns out it's a surprise party for her new boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML
Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Eat your breakfast, get the surprise and then tell her. You get to celebrate your birthday twice this year!
Claytonic 0
I'd take it anyways
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Comments (112)
Claytonic 0
I'd take it anyways
MagneticGuitar 0
Aslong as the woman is in the kitchen, you should be happy OP. :)
TempestJones 0
rofl good one! and yeah, I bet OP didn't correct her until after the "surprise".
XDXDXDXDXD_fml 0
haha me too!!
zendaddy0 0
she knows how to make you happy and sad at the same time "your dicks bigger than your brothers"
Doortje 30
Eat your breakfast, get the surprise and then tell her. You get to celebrate your birthday twice this year!
m0tl3ycru3qwr 0
win!
KSGmama08 0
to me this sounds like she made him breakfast for his birthday and then the surprise is that he is now her ex boyfriend. just saying. go ahead and smash my comment idk but this is the way I took the convo.
chippa 24
"Today is not my birthday."
Freeze_fml 17
I'm pretty sure the FML was edited to add that portion in. Not that it's relevant.
love0128 5
59- That's how I took it too.
koreyketchum 1
That's the exact thought that ran through my mind.
kenyrabit 25
Don't mention it. Just remind her when your real birthday gets near. If she brings up the celebration from earlier in the year, play dumb and tell her you thought it was just because she loves you. (...or that it was a practice birthday. lol)
kenyrabit 25
Oh, shit. #59 is right! The breakfast wasn't for him.. Tough break.
luanne2010 0
how do u know it's her ex's??
tinyshayne 0
because its not his birthday. duh
tinyshayne 0
because its not his birthday. duh
acidlithium 0
no thats actually a good question!???
cocainewhore 30
Maybe they're friends? My fiancé is friends with one of my exes.
DahkLohd 4
After the birthday sex, tell her it's not your birthday. It never hurts getting some extra breakfast, presents, and sex!
yazmi_09 3
the dark lord has sex? lol
Trollz4daLULZ 2
And he's from Boston?!
thirdtesticle 0
he's actually at your mom's house according to his profile. and no, they are not having sex, unless your mother is a man.
DahkLohd 4
@45 - I do now! @53 - Nope, it's a British accent @58 - That's exactly where I am! But what exactly makes you think the Dahk Lohd is gay?
ALQ_fml 13
Well, you do take that little foot to dance again. It was totally awesome.
Selena_is_back 7
har dee har har
Selena_is_back 7
arrrrrgh! :D
Selena_is_back 7
'X' marks the spot!
yourWIFEandKIDS 0
25- I just about started crying with laughter.
DncrHap 9
have sex with her, and when she's about to reach her peak, tell her what an awful girlfriend she is. then bust your nut and pass out.
koji8123 0
⑦｀s comment ≡ Epic win!!
knight0748 5
oh that's hot, forget about my idea.
caboose003 0
^win !!!
sourgirl101 29
#7 HolyHell, that's funny! OP, a Very Merry Unbirthday to you. It's my Unbirthday too!(:
a_girl_i_know 0
Some girls just have no shame.
BloodyHeel 8
^ Exhibit A.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
Chocolate cake and sex sounds like a pretty good way to spend the day especially when it's not your birthday. I think you should text her ex a thank you note.
starile 20
Today, my ex celebrated my birthday with her current boyfriend. He even went out of his way to write me a note detailing the delicious breakfast she made for him and the amazing sex they had after. FML
Stepherrss 0
If she's getting her ex's birthday mixed up with yours, she clearly knows more about him then she does you, i say she steps it up or dump her. You deserve better than someone who's clearly still hung up on her ex.
fearfulsymmetry 1
^this. Agree with you 100%
staylor23 2
so true!
starile 20
Um, it was a mistaken date, it's not like she CHEATED on him. Imagine that, she makes him an exquisite breakfast, topped off with cake and sex, and suddenly he dumps her. "Yeah, uh, all this wonderful stuff you did for me? That means you're still in love with your ex. Now swallow that cum shot and **** off."
that_guy_ollie 0
hey that sounds like what i said to your mum the other night xD
RedPillSucks 33
Well? Did she give you a happy ending?