Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML
Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
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Top comments
Awkward_Science 2
They should've just moved everything around without taking anything as they did, but instead leave a note saying "you'll never figure out what we took". The years of therapy you would have to go through afterward would teach you to get better things.
soccergurrll 8
FYL, OP when a thief doesn't even want your stuff
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Comments (136)
saintsrocksocks 10
Wow, you could of at least fed them. You jerk.
GodPart2 20
Take the note to the police, get them to do a handwriting / fingerprint match and hopefully arrest the guys who broke in to your house... "No one calls my stuff shitty and gets away with it!!"
Feared 9
15- what if it's not handwritten?
xlord 27
15- yea, when I rob a house I like typing a note on the computer and leaving it there.
Bonzer 2
Am I the only one who noticed 1's sarcasm?
dylanmellark101 5
Uhhhhhh when U rob a house?????
dylanmellark101 5
#31 when U rob a house???!!!
159_fml 17
I did but it was really bad
xlord 27
42 + 43 - yea, I love robbing houses and if you read my profile it says I'm a cat. I'm also definately not being sarcastic at the moment.
winnerme123 8
55 is a CAT BURGLAR! OMG! OH-NOOOO!
alshygirl 14
I'm surprised no one corrected 1 for writing could of instead of could have...
Meettitan 14
34- Zap Brannigan "Kiff, zoom in on thar picture, there." *Kiff clicks* Zap "Kiff, make the picture clear like in CSI!" Kiff "Sir, that's all the resolution we have..."
Feared 9
31- You could use your feet or mouth. You don't need to type it.
Teyros 24
No no no... They have the note printed and photocopied incase they break in to another place with "shitty stuff".
Ambreanna 0
83- how many people do you know write with their feet or mouth?
evilplatypus 39
15 - My car got broken into while I was at work. He was caught on camera, two employees IDed him from the footage and the cops refused to even COME to the crime scene. They did a write up over the phone and never asked for the security tapes. Yes, I'm sure the cops will "jump-to" when OP gives them the note.
saintsrocksocks 10
Did nobody get my sarcasm?
evilplatypus 39
99 - We got it. We just didn't think it was funny. It looked more like a desperate cry for attention or you that wrote the first inane thing you could think of to get f!rst.
saintsrocksocks 10
107- if you want my honest opinion, I could care less if I was first comment. It means nothing in the endless pursuit of happiness that life is made to strive after, and is worthless in the end of the day.
hama806 19
30 & 83 (same person, similar dumb comments). Please quit while you're behind.
t_fml 11
Maybe you do have bad stuff, no offense.
soccergurrll 8
FYL, OP when a thief doesn't even want your stuff
hama806 19
Picky picky. What is this world coming to when even burglars have standards. :/
Sandsh8rk 36
Hey OP, cheer up, that's the best case scenario! No one took your stuff! :)
TheDrudgeChild 4
Heck, I don't even see the FML in this besides them making a big mess and throwing and throwing an insult. No one got hurt and nothing got stolen! :)
nictransitglory 4
Are you retarded 70, that is the FML. Having someone break in an trash your place sucks. And a note that says your stuff is too shitty for a piece of shit burglar to steal is just insult to injury. FYL indeed OP.
0ops_i_died 8
Just trying to be optimistic, sheesh!
Goldenchest 14
You should check your stuff anyways. Sometimes they leave those notes to throw you off.
MDTeddy 13
I wonder what Op owns. Im sure there are good things or else she wouldn't own them.
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
The good thing is they didn't steal anything!
neilykins 29
Exactly, I'd rather have a messy house than a empty house.
sonicgreg 12
What do you expect? He was canadian!
1DRuleMyLife 2
I resent that.
laden_swallow09 35
There is some logic for 23's argument. Namely the fact that rarely does anyone lock their doors up there.
teresee 8
Obviously you don't know anything about Canadians so I advise you don't make nasty comments.
quontag 15
At least they didn't find the hidden safe with billions worth of gold diamonds and cash...
saintsrocksocks 10
82- please enlighten me on what a gold diamond is.
Awkward_Science 2
They should've just moved everything around without taking anything as they did, but instead leave a note saying "you'll never figure out what we took". The years of therapy you would have to go through afterward would teach you to get better things.
janerose21 3
lol that reminds me of Dane cook breaking and entering !!
p3mguin 7
This is the greatest thing I have ever heard. You my friend, can make up a plan to destroy anybody's life...
DocBastard 40
Haha! Remember when Dane Cook was funny? Me neither.
cradle6 13
The world laughed when Dane Cook told the world he wanted to be a comedian, but no one is laughing now!
5n000w 4
I just lost all respect for you, DocBastard.
Myo_fml 20
Why? Dane cook isn't funny.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I resent that! Dane Cook IS indeed funny.............. looking.
EGORAPTOR 7
Yea and you also got that from a pic on the Internet
DocBastard 40
5n000w - You can lose respect for someone because they have a different opinion about what constitutes humour? Now THAT is funny.
Awkward_Science 2
74 - and that's a picture of you?
BradTheBrony 19
And that's your name, and doesn't belong to one of the greatest flash animators/retro video game enthusiasts ever?
byRose 7
Being burglars, i don't think they have the luxury of being high standard thieves.
AmericanJedhead 10
On the bright side, nothing got stolen...you still get to keep your shitty stuff, which must hold some value to you. Because if its meaningless crap, why would you have bought it?
patrickalamo 48
Yes, but it is your shitty stuff.
Bluekaren16 19
Another man's treasure is another man's trash?
missalkali 8
*one man's treasure
SexyQueen0905 24
That's what you get when you don't provide for guests, welcome or unwelcome. Jeez!
saintsrocksocks 10
Queen, I posted a similar sarcastic comment also, and was down-thumbed to hell. Welcome to the club.
Dnigz13 4
Wow that's kind of sad but a good thing at the same time that nothing got stolen. But I would just figure that as long as your stuff keeps you happy and is nice to you, that should be good enough for you right?
dromaan 2
Damn haha burglars are usually pretty desperate too xD