Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
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Top comments
NoOneCaresReally 8
You will, your mum's obviously the next noah!
xactownife 7
She doesn't have very long to build her boat :o
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Comments (62)
CuriousAlien 7
If anybody asks you for a boat, you can say " I Noah guy. "
Mahtari 19
Your mom is a boss.
cmb8280 24
OMG LMFAO!!!!! FYL
vbmg152 19
What??
pradip 26
If she really thinks the world's going to end then, can someone get me her number. P.S: I'm a gerontophile.
LONERANGER44 11
Faith in Humanity -100
savage93 11
This just sounds too fake.
kemando 22
The flood is coming
buckdharma 38
I just got my 2013 calendar from Dirty Joe's Crab Shack And Pastries.
Jakespeed207 4
Well, your mom's certainly not the brightest knife in the crayon box. But hey, to all the people saying take the key, that wouldn't really matter if OP's door is made of... You guessed it, wood.