Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lambda_fml 40
You cant blame it completely on the child. You being his parent are responsible for his development.
CareFace 16
Kids these days grow up so fast...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (216)
PuggieKid 22
94... Why are you so harsh? -__-
Bakarra 22
My only questions are, why are you a guy telling another guy he isn't attractive? Why is your profile description a poorly written poem in all caps?
Blaze321 5
Wow , kids these days
sugarbear0727 19
Well, be a parent and discipline the little shit. I understand shit happens, and sometimes they will hear you or your spouse say a bad word, but tell them that its a grown up word and that if repeated, they will get in trouble. My niece used to repeat bad words, and she wouls get in trouble. Now, she's also five, if you say a bad word in front of her, she'll make you apologize for saying the bad word. She'll look at you and go 'Um, you said a bad word, say sorry.' And if you don't, she'll tell you to do it over and over again till you do.
mercC63girl 6
Get that boy in check!
journeytotheend 16
Show him what it's like to be treated like an adult! When giving him candy take half of it away and tell him it's rent payment
xRezSynn 15
Shouldn't you watch what your children does?
pandarawrable 12
Time for some good old fashioned arse whoopings
tatermater94 5
kids learn from parents..
Captain_Flappers 7
Bad parenting at its finest