Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML
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Top comments
lambda_fml 40
You cant blame it completely on the child. You being his parent are responsible for his development.
CareFace 16
Kids these days grow up so fast...
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Comments (216)
naiveprophet 15
When I was a kid, I gave my aunt the middle finger, not entirely understanding what it meant. It was something I'd seen other kids doing at school. It's very likely that the same happened with your 5-year-old. I got a good stern talking-to, and that's all it took for me to stay curse-free in front of my family for, well, forever.
Mahtari 19
My sides.
cf1313 6
Ya you defiantly need to talk to him and if he doesn't stop punish him or take his stuff away
chuckcloninger 12
You have a budding family terrorist there. You MUST find out who is teaching him this shit and take action to get him away from this person even if its a family member. Can you imagine him in his first day of school? You have a long difficult road ahead teaching him to "unlearn" and replace it with appropriate behavior. If not , I see prison in his future.
glitz1234 6
ho-le shiz nit
CharDee 15
Its okay I'd one curse word would of slipped out but don't let you children curse you out. The need some Discipline and structure.
jlujan00_fml 9
You fail
shinedown00 4
Discipline Learn it it's ok to straighten them up one in a while
AliciaMeow 12
Discipline him. Give him a spanking. Take something away from him. Do some parenting!
legendxs 20
I was never like that when I was 5... That's because I was afraid that my father would give me a knuckle sandwich if I do shit like this... So spank him for those words and for every bad word spank him 2 times. Ground him also.