Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lambda_fml 40
You cant blame it completely on the child. You being his parent are responsible for his development.
CareFace 16
Kids these days grow up so fast...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (216)
EpicSquishii 21
94- I know you're a dude, but you're being a bitch. Cease and desist immediately. Why the **** do you care about him not wearing a shirt? Only his shoulders are visible, it's not like he's flaunting his body. Calm your nipples
theboy13 13
Sounds like a parenting issue
Sonotsuave 37
Wow. Congratulations on epically failing as a parent
nishantvas 13
Ouch, that's gonna be a tough bringing up bro !
mattyiscool123 26
Something is going on here
rokolodo 10
That kid is part of the new and I proved, time-out generation. Wow,
taybay23 13
Obviously you don't have a disciplined enough house hold.
kittycat2007 18
Thats when you turn him over your kneel smack his butt and when hes done crying you remind him of house rule number 1. No hitting. and rule number 2. No bad words. problem solved.
fuckery16 13
no hitting? then why is a parent allowed to hit a child? that's just telling the kid it's okay to hurt people
glamorous18 10
what the hell are you doing on FML?? you should be giving that kid a whoopin!!!
FlamingColor 30
Ass whipping time!!!