Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, my five-year-old son threatened to kill another kid at school. I told the teacher I would have a talk with my son about how that’s not okay. The teacher replied that I’d better call the cops in case he “follows through.” Did I mention the kid is five? FML
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Top comments
lambda_fml 40
You cant blame it completely on the child. You being his parent are responsible for his development.
CareFace 16
Kids these days grow up so fast...
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Comments (216)
unixdude 9
What do you think he will say when he awakens from the bitch-slap induced coma? Either way it will be difficult for him to walk or be in public due to the cuts and bruises.
kirb2154 3
I remember my first school bus driver.
pmnilsen 2
Ever heard of an ass whooping?
j0k3r91 6
open hand spank to the ass would most definitely work.
Lilo4life 26
Go the Christmas Story Route and put soap in his mouth
chubaca2004 6
How is this not the parents fault? Take some responsibility for your evil kids!
j_cat187 20
That's when you scream, "You are a ******* child." That kind deserves the belt.
half_nhalf 1
Do your job and teach him how to behave and he won't be such a little brat. Everyone's worried about how the environment is going to be ruined for the kids of the future but they're more likely to win Darwin awards than live until the planet dies
Kriositivity 7
Why would you ask your kid? Kids can only learn what they've been taught... if it's because of school maybe they need a transfer. Or homeschooling.
pattayarick 8
How many teeth came out when you smacked him?