Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "No Pets" policy. FML
Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a noisy dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML
Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML
Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML
Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML
Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML
Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML
Today, my batshit crazy downstairs neighbor threatened me with "legal action" for making too much noise. According to her, it’s "illegal" for people in upstairs apartments to use vacuum cleaners, therefore I must sweep my carpets to avoid disturbing her and her imaginary guests. FML
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Top comments
cardtowermaster 0
explain to him you have a natural uncontrollable tendency to purr when you're asleep. while explaining be sure to add some meows in between sentences
shanemaximo 7
Tell him you have some very, very strange sexual appetites and since you already make videos you would be happy to send him one.
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Comments (92)
cardtowermaster 0
explain to him you have a natural uncontrollable tendency to purr when you're asleep. while explaining be sure to add some meows in between sentences
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Cats actually stop purring when they fall asleep.
pokemai 6
OP's roomate doesnt! :D What's new pussy cat!? Wooou wou wooou :D
shanemaximo 7
Tell him you have some very, very strange sexual appetites and since you already make videos you would be happy to send him one.
murdersquirrel 15
What happens if he wants to see one of these sexual feline videos?
marpay 11
Op will dress as a furry style cat and make a video of it?
Kefka91 15
39- that's hot. I wanna see it. :3
kikiwi_fml 9
That's hilarious. I bet he thinks that's the worst excuse ever too haha.
TheiMightyKhaL 2
I used to make cat noises, but then I took an arrow in the knee.
ninjuh_wingman 29
You know you'd think someone would be able to tell the difference between someone making fake cat noises and a reak car.
LlamaFlavoured 24
There's a big difference between a fake cat and a reak car. ;)
ninjuh_wingman 29
I mean a real cat.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Sure, unless the roommate is very good at it. I've fooled quite a few people with my expert meowing skills. That or everyone I hang around is an idiot. Could be either or.
yumlicious 4
Most likely the latter.
Kefka91 15
My ex-girlfriend was able to do a very convincing bird noise. She'd do it in class and make the teachers freak out thinking there was a bird in the room.
xDani 3
Sounds like me. I'd do that shit even louder if I wanted to get someone kicked out. Looks like she's winning. c:
gruebermeister 1
Have you ever lived alone? Comments like that from an 18 year-old--fail.
lajaynay 15
Shit, I'm about to be 19 and if I could afford it, I'd live alone. Then my house wouldn't be such a damn mess and I can walk around in my underwear.
tylersign 11
What the hell? Cat noises are the most boing of all animal noises. I prefer whale sounds. Or caterpillar...
murdersquirrel 15
I like that your misspelling of 'boring' actually describes a noise. Good job, kinda.
heyyy464 1
What sound does a caterpillar make??
Kefka91 15
Laughing out loud at 1 AM, trying to imagine what sound a caterpillar would make.
False_Stupidity 42
Depends if it's the animal caterpillar or the excavator...
redhedsaysrawr 18
maybe they can actually talk but so quietly, that we cant hear it..... hmm.... man i wish i could talk to a caterpillar.... i bet theyre interesting...
ColtsDoug18 0
You're roommate sounds like a bitch.
Buttsexpirate 9
I think you mean a pussy.
perdix 31
Wouldn't she make dog sounds then?
ColtsDoug18 0
Loll truee, good looks Mr. Buttsex! ... Woow never thought I'd ever say that..
Heeeerroin 5
Cat woman
maxheart90 0
Well your roommate sounds normal
123josie123 11
Fyl for having a weird neighbor