Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I'm so out of shape that my arm ached after lifting chips out of a Lays bag. FML
Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
Join a gym? Or possibly a bootcamp, because you need the willpower and perseverance
somewizdom 15
You should daydream more often, but with a salad next to you.
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Comments (62)
Lillias_fml 19
Maybe you could stop buying sweets or chips so this way you won't have any near you when you feel like eating some.
ScarletBloom 14
You need to discipline yourself. Jogging is one of the healthiest way.
Calyx_fml 22
And here I thought duckface was bad. Shall we call it bukakke face?
Dorothy Horsman 8
sounds like just pure hate from you.. maybe you should keep your fingers and mouth still when judging someone when you are not even above duckface
braibrai734 2
Nope ur wrong jogging isn't the healthiest way to lose weight
itsharkley 8
Sprinting then walking. Repeat. Thats one of the best cardio
fordneagles 34
While I don't begrudge you complaining about your weight, don't say that you reached for your chips 'unknowingly'. I have a problem with weight, but at least I acknowledge what I'm eating is bad rather than being in denial about it. Admit your problem and then do something about it.
Myo_fml 20
They were reached for unknowingly because daydreaming is a state of trance. The conscious mind was off being distracted with other things.
Bekll 31
Chips generally come in a loud bag that pop when opened. Chips themselves are loud when chewed on. I would think at some point before eating the entire bag the trance of daydreaming would've been broken.
Myo_fml 20
-shrugs- Trance is different for everyone. I'm not trying to defend OP's actions, just pointing out what I know. I do agree though that unless OP wants to make a change, then he has no right to complain.
SanaSazi 32
Been there done that myself. Way too many times.
melij99 5
Consider not having any unhealthy snack foods around the house. If they're not there you can't unknowingly eat them.
thecovert 7
Walk for 20 mins each day. You will eventually work up to being much healthier. Do it no matter what.
j_cat187 20
Only a 20 min low intensity workout? It needs to be at least 2 hours.
SobrietyKills 14
I actually went to a doctor about my weight problem and he recommended a 20 min. (vigorous) walking regiment every day. So far I HAVE lost weight. You don't have to hit the treadmill for two hours to lose weight, you just have to stay active and eat better + smaller portions. Another great way would be to dance Zumba (or my favorite) swim.
poindextrr 2
sux to be you buddy!!!!
linkinpark98 24
Not only is there a button for that, you even managed to spell "sucks" incorrectly. You sir, or ma'am have failed at commenting.
AnyaS 19
If you checked the profile you would know she's a girl.
sweetmama88 6
Just wondering how much did you smoke?
HairyPunisher 27
You like to stereotype don't you?
tctheamazing 7
Oh yeah, because everyone who smokes is a fat ass.
yanksby7 6
One day a couple years ago I was having a "fat" day. I felt like crap, and had no one to blame but myself. Just then, a Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers commercial came on, and I thought to myself, "why not? The worst that could happen is it DOESN'T work, and I'm no worse off than before". So I did it, I'm still doing it, I feel better than I have in years, and I still love it! Find something that works for you and do it!
DracoSpirita 21
What an inspiring story! I love it! :D
Bekll 31
I'm glad it worked for you so well. I've been doing Weight Watchers for a month and a half and it has been of no benefit, only stressful.
yanksby7 6
Different things work for different people. A friend of mine goes to meetings, but I don't have that kind of time. I kept myself honest by weighing in every week on Facebook. I thought it would be embarrassing, but the encouragement really helped!
linkinpark98 24
Join a gym! Or, do what I did and save up for equipment. Using a treadmill everyday would increase your health drastically!