Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I'm so out of shape that my arm ached after lifting chips out of a Lays bag. FML
Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
Join a gym? Or possibly a bootcamp, because you need the willpower and perseverance
somewizdom 15
You should daydream more often, but with a salad next to you.
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Comments (62)
daniellenb22 4
lmao
fj19 9
I hate reading fml's like these.
amyybr 0
im trying to gain weight sux for you
LSS_fml 18
Have some of mine haha
perdix 31
You need to get off your fat ass and get some exercise! Start with a brisk walk to your car. Drive to your local discount club. Do as many reps of the Chip Lift into your cart as you can. Push heavily loaded cart to check-out. Return to couch for a well-deserved warm-down. That's enough for today . . . don't stop believin'!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
A good way to lose some weight is to eat MORE. When you starve yourself, your body goes into starvation mode and saves as much fat as possible. When you snack between meals on something(not too junky) and go for walks, your body burns the extra fat faster because it doesn't need it. I know because I switched over to this diet and shed about 10 lbs already.
whyusofat 17
This chipmunk was more on the pudgy side.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Are you calling me fat?! *bawls and shoves chocolate in her mouth*
cheetahbaby96 8
76- That is true, but your calorie intake needs to drop below the number of calories you burn in a day. So if eating less needs to occur, try to get the biggest bang for your buck. Example: Approximately 330 grams of strawberries equals 100 calories. Whilst 330 grams of goldfish crackers equals about 1,540 calories.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
That's why I like celery--negative calories.
misvenus000 4
It's a hard road to travel but some will power and discipline will help greatly. Your not alone in the battle! Make small steps like baked chips or apple crisps to divulge into. Good luck and don't give up :)
greenie213 23
Aim with you OP. I'm trying to lose a few pounds, but food is just to damn delicious!
sumbum95 15
Instead of daydreaming it why don't you actually do it! You just Have to focus and be positive! :) There's actually a quote that says this: Your day dreams of losing weight are interrupted by the sound of your munching. I guess in the case.. It's true.
jayfreeman80 0
Go to the store and buy more!!!!
Talkryz 7
Maybe go for a walk (or run) so you can feel better emotionally. In the long run it'll help you with both so it's a win-win