Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML
Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
This may be a sign of too much makeup.
GhostFox 34
For people wonder: OP is fair skinned (or maybe a vampire goth?) and wears pure white foundation. When they kissed, her foundation came off on his face, which since he was darker skinned cause it to be very obvious and jarring.
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Comments (79)
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't understand this one.
Emyka 26
Uh, no. He was black. She wore light toned make-up. It rubbed off onto his skin.
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So is she saying her white makeup came off on him even though she's as pale as a vampire? I don't understand how makeup works.
GhostFox 34
Her foundation is probably a very pale color. It's used to both hide discoloration of the skin (sunburn, red splotches) and make all the skin in the covered area the same color so it is easier to apply the rest of the makeup- ergo, it is the foundation of makeup.
sparkledoge 29
#8 the foundation make up must be as close to you natural skin color as possible to avoid situations like a very tan face and a very pale neck, that would look weird.
redscarf_fml 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She didn't say he was black. Dark-skinned could just mean very tan
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sorry for not understanding how makeup works due to years of not stalking women in the bathrooms. I will try harder to know their secrets.
sparkledoge 29
You know, it might sound crazy but google is free and it's right there in your hands.
Scotth901 22
I'm just curious, is the FML staff position pre-ordained or can anyone apply? I'm not saying I will, I'm just idly curious! Thanks c:
Rei_Ayanami 18
This may be a sign of too much makeup.
askullnamedbilly 33
Not necessarily though. I mean, pretty much all make up comes off if you rub over it with your fingers - pretty sure the same happens if you use another face to rub it off. If their skin color is really that different, even small amounts of make up would be pretty noticeable. I hope OP had some kind of wipes in her purse!
Xion0014 20
I wear a thin layer of bb cream and setting powder to make it matte and last longer, if i hug my boyfriend and he's wesring a black shirt it shows up on his shirt a bit, imagine actual make up. It doesn't have to be alot
vikky538 29
At that point we call them paint. Its no longer called a make up!
Isa_fml 20
Mind your own business.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
No, it's a sign of no-setting spray. But why is the amount of makeup a person wears ANY of your business?
capnbzarr 43
Everybody saying #2 needs to mind their own business about excessive amounts of makeup (looking at you, #48 and #56) is probably also wearing too much makeup. Anyway, the whole point of a comments section is that nobody minds their own business. We all come here to mind each other's business.
LyricaSilvan 30
She did specify she didn't set it. Foundations can come off incredibly easily if you don't put something on over them to bind them to your skin.
TXlove 6
I've never had so much makeup on that it wiped off when I kissed my boyfriend... Maybe lipstick but not foundation
Zappaz 32
Any make up is too much imo
GhostFox 34
For people wonder: OP is fair skinned (or maybe a vampire goth?) and wears pure white foundation. When they kissed, her foundation came off on his face, which since he was darker skinned cause it to be very obvious and jarring.
Oh_My_Gosh_015 4
Or just her powder, since she didn't use a setting spray
dannidoll93 24
Awkward. Hope you managed to laugh it off OP! Congrats on what seems like a good first date up until that point!
revolvearoundme 15
Awww how cute. First date and you're already rubbing off on him.
bellydancer82 15
Haha sorry OP, but hopefully the guy just laughed it off. I can totally relate, though, I'm very fair-skinned and always have to get the lightest color foundation. But, my boyfriend is Middle Eastern. It happens all the time, even if I'm barely wearing any makeup because the contrast is so extreme.
TacoPeps 14
Go get him, girl, if you like hin
tomvertigo 17
Sounds like you need to ease up on the makeup or use the set spray you mentioned.
neuronerd 29
Either you may need better makeup, or to wear less of it (especially powder). I actually use pretty cheap foundation (Covergirl aquasmooth), but it never transfers off. I've even slept in it on a white pillowcase, and there's no residual makeup left behind.
PuppiesKisses 19
I feel your pain; I'm extremely pale and freckled. You should stop wearing so much make up. I used to do the whole 9 yards with my makeup until a few years ago and as any woman knows there were plenty of mishaps. Now I wear no make up. I have more time, more money, better skin and less opportunity for embarrassment. Sorry OP but stop trying to be a porcelain doll. You deserve it.
kbecks87 16
Well your a judgmental bitch, huh.
DoomedGemini 38
Congrats you chose to wear makeup, that doesn't mean others shouldn't if they like to. I don't see why op deserves it for wearing makeup just because you decided you found it a waste and decided not to wear it? And as others said, it doesn't need to be a lot of makeup if their skin color is so different.
LyricaSilvan 30
If wearing makeup makes her feel better about herself, then who are you to say she should stop? Get off your high horse and let people do what makes them happy.