Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
Today, I received my 12-month diet plan from an online coach. It said, “Eat less calories lol.” I just lost £175. FML
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Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
A see food diet.
mssileas 25
There's an awful stage pre-recovery where the thought of quitting/changing your lifestyle stresses you out so much you binge more than ever before. Especially a diet coach might be a particularly stressful factor, you can't please her so you feel guilty and for not making the big effort, so you also stop the little efforts, and back down the spiral we go. Maybe a counseling program to help you figure out what kind of issues you try to silence or comfort by binge eating would be better suited to help you out, than a diet coach who you perceive as meddling with your coping habits, to which you more or less consciously respond with defiance.
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Comments (9)
slowhandjp 18
What diet are you on?
Mungolikecandy 19
A see food diet.
mssileas 25
There's an awful stage pre-recovery where the thought of quitting/changing your lifestyle stresses you out so much you binge more than ever before. Especially a diet coach might be a particularly stressful factor, you can't please her so you feel guilty and for not making the big effort, so you also stop the little efforts, and back down the spiral we go. Maybe a counseling program to help you figure out what kind of issues you try to silence or comfort by binge eating would be better suited to help you out, than a diet coach who you perceive as meddling with your coping habits, to which you more or less consciously respond with defiance.
bullsonyourface 20
we fluctuate an average of 5 pounds per day. also, don't waste your time and your diet coaches time if you're not serious. Instead, bring me over some of that pizza and we can be fat and happy
kfchicken 31
yes but it's also possible to lose 2-3 pounds every week consistently, so OP should bear that in mind.
RichardPencil 32
Either you are on the world's greatest diet or you also have a Lying Coach who's a lot more effective than the diet chump.
Chris Cowperthwait 4
how is this an fml?
RichardPencil 32
The OP clearly is an out-of-control food addict who lies to a diet coach they are wasting money on.