Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
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Top comments
steveykinz0967 16
You should've just told them, the kid deserves to be disciplined anyway
Nymeria_fml 25
I hope your excuse was that you didn't put him in bed because you were too busy eating dick, because that kid just made you his bitch. Nice job babysitting, OP.
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Comments (91)
LibertyLife20 20
What a sassy kid!
sweetest_jenn 18
More like a loud brat. But he must've heard someone else said it enough times to go around repeating it. I wouldn't blame him at all, but mom and dad certainly should hear about his little catch phrase.
gramirez23 9
Okay Reese Witherspoon
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Sassy is putting it mildly! Next time (if there is one), don't let him think it's okay to talk to you like that. It's totally understandable that you were shocked, but if it happens again and he isn't spoken to, you're inadvertently reinforcing that kind of behavior. He needs to know it's unacceptable to speak to an adult so disrespectfully. You're in charge! Make sure they know it. When in doubt, tell them Santa's watching. Shuts kids up like no other.
z3r0d4z3 22
#45 instead of santa, tell him the monster in the basement likes to eat little kids that swear and stay up late.
steveykinz0967 16
You should've just told them, the kid deserves to be disciplined anyway
Monkey_language 15
Yeah well, how'd that go? "Hey, your kid told me to eat a dick and I let him stay up because I couldn't put up with a six-year old. But I expect you to do sth about it now that it is way to late and the kid already felt like he could do to me whatever he wants. So... when should I come by next time?"
Brandi_Faith 34
This is a major YDI to me. OP should've told him it was rude to speak like that and that his parents would be hearing about it. Then OP should've put the kid to bed and mentioned it to the parents later. If he absolutely refused to go to bed and continued to get out of bed and yell crude things at you, then you call the parents and have them speak with him or threaten to come home and discipline him. If you let a 6 yr old walk all over you than maybe you shouldn't be babysitting. Hope you feel more confident next time OP. You're the one in control. :)
brandoneyez1 25
I agree. Why should the kid get away with that behavior. I would rather know, as a parent, than not and find out my kid is behaving this way.
Nymeria_fml 25
I hope your excuse was that you didn't put him in bed because you were too busy eating dick, because that kid just made you his bitch. Nice job babysitting, OP.
ToraTora 9
You've never babysat before, have you?
LisaDay 14
it doesnt matter what the kid says. no kid is going to willingly go to bed. the kid should have been sent to bed no matter what he says. OP was wrong to allow the kid to stay up and wrong again to not tell the parents what was said.
purpleamber1 11
lol!!! that should totally not be funny but it totally was i cant stop laughing!! :D
iceking53 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Best his ass and explain to his parents
cakefete2 31
While he does deserve a spanking, it's not generally advisable to give other people's children a beating.
slyde32 12
I wouldn't do that either, he's not your kid, do not use physical punishment, regardless of the reason. Call the kid's parents, or threaten to call the kid's parents, tell him that that kind of language isn't nice, never lay your hands on someone else's child
LittleBells 17
Spanking another person's kid is unacceptable. Anything beyond spanking is most likely illegal.
JRtheSnowman 5
That sounds a little pedophileish
RedPillSucks 33
You don't discipline other peoples kids unless they give you explicate permission.
ironik69 31
5 said BEST, not beat. For those that don't understand the term... It means to defeat or outwit. It was being used as a verb.
MisterGasMoney 16
That would be what we call a typo.
kingdomgirl94 29
Stop trying to be smart, its not working. He totally meant to say beat his ass, not best his ass. besting someone is an expression, besting their ass is not.
ironik69 31
Because you "like totally know" what the commenter was meaning. I don't have to try to be smart dear, try checking a dictionary before you check me.
BubbleGrunge 18
That's why he does the things he does OP; because no one handles his little ass. You should have put him to bed and told his parents about his nasty little mouth.
capthigh 16
I agree the only reason he acts like that is because he knows he can get away with she just needed to put him in his place I'm sure the parents would understand
sexual_girl 15
You shouldn't be taking care of kids if you don't know how to gain their respect and get the job done.
DJisHere11 19
#9 You must have no idea. The only thing a kid respects are lollipops and TV time.
ToraTora 9
Oh hun. Kids don't even respect their parents (since the parents give them whatever they want to shut them up) so why would they respect a stranger ordering them around?
kingdomgirl94 29
Because babysitting is not ordering a kid around, its being a second parent. You don't stand there and bark orders at them, you play and spend time with them, and get them to do what needs to be done. If you just sit there and tell kids what to do and expect them to listen, well you're not a very good baby sitter.
amayasoma 19
You guys must be terrible at baby sitting. If you know how to manipulate kids, you can easily earn their respect. Kids like to challenge others because they believe they can get away with it. Out wit a kid and show them they can't and they'll respect you. My mom deals with troubled kids all the time. They respect her more than their own parents and she's never laid a hand on them.
GoBigRed 6
Should have opened a can of whoop ass on him.
Tuffmuffin 10
"Opening a can of whoop ass" on someone else's kid is usually frowned upon even if he deserved it.
joemud 13
Like masturbating on an airplane, thanks Osama.
Obediah14 13
Looks like you couldn't "swallow" your pride!
DARKDAY07 16
wow man that is bad just explain to his parents and let them discepline him
ErinRosado 14
And let them discipline him too.
princesscorkey 16
If you can't stand up to a six-year-old boy, you are not ready to be completely responsible for a child while their parents are away. Might I suggest a paper route?
pessimistprime 4
When a six-year old boy tells you to eat a dick, lets see how you react.
LisaDay 14
you react by telling them its rude to talk like that and then send the kid to bed. you tell the kids parents when they get home.
amayasoma 19
And of the kid continues to be disrespectful as a last resort you can call the parents.