Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Reviews
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
High on life
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Placebo
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Shudder
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
When I started reading this, I was expecting pot brownies not boob brownies.
Welshite 40
But I'm not even related to these cows! *spits out milk*
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Comments (186)
pwnman 33
At least you didn't ask for breast milk...
isabellasimone 18
If you are three, it seems like you didn't really have a problem with them!
WhiteCrimson 23
You should have thanked her and continued shoving them down man. It's the breast damn nutrition you can get from a brownie lol.
Xquisite1 28
For all of the people saying how healthy breast milk is, have you also realized that disease can be spread through it as well? Would you still feel the same way if it had been spaghetti and she announced that she had added blood to it? It may be cooked but it still does't take away the yuck-factor. Breast milk is a bodily fliud and unless it's YOUR young child, then a person should have a choice as to if they want to ingest it or not. Seems to me if the husband had baked a dessert laced with his semen then people would be more up in arms rather than saying how healthy breastmilk is and the OP couldn't taste it anyway. Double standard much?
Mossears133 15
There is a HUGE difference between consuming breast milk and consuming blood or semen. Breast milk is literally made for human consumption (correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's the only thing naturally designed for that purpose). It's all most babies consume for the first few months of their lives! Of course more people would object if it were blood or semen - you don't put that shit in food! There's nothing wrong with consuming breast milk, so I suggest staying away from faulty analogies in the future.
Xquisite1 28
Who the Hell wants to be tricked into consuming someone else's BODILY fluids!!! The OP is not this woman' s freakin' child!!!! I am not saying that breast milk is horrible, but it is NOT ok to cook with it and feed to to an unsuspecting guest at your home! That is NOT right in any way shape or form.
sourgirl101 29
I nursed my kids. My husband and I have both tasted my breast milk. It was tasty and some days it was sweeter than others. My diet at the time changed it daily(: I however, would never give an unsuspecting person a sample of it-- Just like I would never trick my Muslim friends to consume pork products thinking "What's the harm?" Blood and semen are an extreme example but the principal is the same. On a different note. I heard about a place in the UK that sold breast milk ice cream. "Baby Gaga" I would like to try it but would be upset if I was tricked before that first lick.
sirsquab 12
No. As was pointed out, blood and semen are not the same because breast milk is literally made for human consumption. Pork to a Muslim is a much better analogy.
ccdude14 4
Diseases are far less likely, the milk content would not have been high and generally breast milk is boiled before serving. Also there IS a company that uses semen as an additive. Natural Harvest something. The same people going on about breast milk are the same who cant decide about regular milk. If the brownies were GOOD she would have processed the milk or they would taste bland and watery just thrown in making your argument invalid.
mageepaigeee44 15
Actually pork to a Muslim is not a better analogy. You can get sick eating a meat as dense as pork if you've never eaten it. Also most pork and milk that you buy in the supermarket is full of hormones and honestly, I'd rather have breast milk brownies than regular brownies. But that's just my personal opinion.
nnnope 26
#23: have you never given thought to how weird it is that we're the only species that consumes other animals' milk & we find our own disgusting??
DasHaas 9
The power of marketing. Because there's no money to be made on something that people produce for themselves. (Once you get over your initial burst of outrage and think about it, you'll realise this is really the only reason people consider breastmilk gross.)
sourgirl101 29
We're the only species that consumes other animals' milk because we're the only species with the skills to be able to do it. If you give an animal (ex: a dog) a bowl of cow's milk or a piece of cheese, he'll consume it.
JackieBoi 4
He should have had a choice, BUT it wont kill him(because if she is a breast-feeding mother she probably doesnt have aids) because breast milk is made for humans. It is literally human milk.
TheGamingGamer 28
This was the best comment I've ever read.
Calingaladha 21
I hope it doesn't turn into a bad mammary for you.
reaxion 25
As opposed to consuming milk from a cow's udder... At least breast milk is actually designed for people.
glabberfasted 16
Someone with sense, finally! Cow's milk is literally made to make young cows fatter. It's not made for humans to drink.
capyarr 1
Time to return the gesture with some **** cookies
Shlalg 15
I find people's negative reactions to breast milk hilarious. We're the only mammal that continues to consume dairy after we are weaned. We like dairy so much, we squeeze it out of cows' udders and package it for sale. These cows are pumped full of steroids and hormones to make them produce more milk than they should be producing. And we slurp it up and smile at our milk mustaches. Then you are informed you've eaten breast milk (you know, the only type of milk we're supposed to drink), and it's a big gross deal. Like, "oh no, the only milk that was actually intended for my species to consume has touched my lips, oh woe!".
hazardmuffin 21
Best comment ever.
Calingaladha 21
Potential disease or parasite transmission. Also, another adult's milk? That's kinda weird. Unless it's between SOs.
brenton490 19
Funny thing is organisms actually aren't designed to drink milk from other organisms but we evolved to where we can so if you are lactose and tolerant you are a not evolved to a point to tolerate it so to the main point without that evolution in human society we technically would all be drinking breast milk from random people if we wanted some dairy
sirsquab 12
I so wish this was the first comment. I agree 100%
juwood 7
Lactose AND tolerant?!
harinakshi 4
Dear lord, people! What kinds of things do you think are going into breast milk?! There happen to be a lot of diseases that the mother can have that doesn't even pass into the milk.
krad204 21
Suck on ma boobs then.
Mossears133 15
So....I'm not as evolved as everyone else? Nice.
TheGamingGamer 28
Right.
Zimmington 21
Well, if she likes giving her breast milk away FML might know a guy interested in buying it...
ksks1234 33
You have a memory of an elephant!
Xquisite1 28
#28 I breast fed my children. You seem to not comprehend well, the PROBLEM is that the OP was not made aware of what the brownies contained before eating them. I am not saying breast milk is worse than a cow's milk. I know it is healthier. If you don't see what the problem is then you are not very bright, so you can shut up with the smart ass "hypocrite" comments. This woman's milk was NOT screened or tested for any type of diseases (that we know of) before she decided that it was OK to feed it to the OP.
doodlecloud 27
Did 28 edit his comment or did you TOTALLY overreact and/or completely misread? There's a tiny chance of certain diseases getting passed down, we get it. But there's a tiny chance of getting diseases from a whole host of things and you don't see me anti-bac-ing every damn surface when I walk out the house. In the main argument it is something to consider but it doesn't seem like it's a massive problem or an issue in this particular case, so maybe give it a rest?
Zimmington 21
I never changed my comment, 149, Exquisite is just one of those people who want to shout their opinion at everyone until someone listens and/or insult them to get a reaction... Although, I like the way you told her to shut the **** up. It was so polite & properly worded.
Smeedz 8
I don't see the problem if you like them. But yea it seems a bit out of the ordinary