Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML
Today, I called my husband and asked him what he wanted from our favorite fast food place. A divorce. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
If parents are an issue, maybe instead of visiting anybody's parents for Thanksgiving, you guys can just go on a cruise! There's time to see parents when everyone isn't stressed out and trying to prepare a giant meal.
HanBanana15 9
As someone who often chokes on my own spit because I'm super awkward and accident prone, I'm having trouble believing someone would do it on purpose, because it really sucks. Maybe he just inhaled too sharply before he was going to answer you. Either way, I hope you're able to work it out, and have a good Thanksgiving.
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Comments (32)
cacheson 42
If parents are an issue, maybe instead of visiting anybody's parents for Thanksgiving, you guys can just go on a cruise! There's time to see parents when everyone isn't stressed out and trying to prepare a giant meal.
cacheson 42
As an addendum to that, it perfectly understandable to want to work on forging a relationship with in-laws in less stressful situations. There's no point doing it at a specific "special" time if it's going to worsen things.
potatocouch 16
How does one choke on their own spit?
Welshite 40
1: Produce adequate amount of saliva. 2: Attempt to swallow said saliva. 3: Fail at said attempt and choke. 4: Gasp and flail and generally make a fool of yourself. You're welcome.
cfojo 19
#4 you're correct, but you forgot to mention that it only happens while you are in a quiet classroom taking a test.
Tarlachia 33
I'm glad I'm not the only one to randomly choke on my own spit. My wife just stares at me every time I do that. Lol
Bearsmomma 30
I do it ALL THE TIME. I don't understand why I can't grasp the proper way of swallowing lol.
aGMAELSTR0M 10
Haha I don't think anyone willingly chokes on their own spit, OP
Tripartita 45
Ah, the hidden downside to having a husband who has mastered his gag-reflex, eh bro?
species4872 20
There is a whole range of tactics used to avoid answering the better half, unfortunately they rarely work.
chloekinz4 6
Thanksgiving sucks after you get married. After that, you both want to spend time with your families on Turkey day and it just causes arguments. Unless it works out that one side celebrates it on a different day.
species4872 20
Well you know the old saying, Marriage is give and take, your the one that gives. Seriously, once married now you have a new family, takes precedence.
mineller 24
You could just split up and celebrate with your own family. I know loads of couples who don't celebrate Christmas together, because they both want to be with their own family :-)
EbyKat 16
His family does early dinner and mine does late dinner so it works out. It also helps that the locations are close together. That said I'm boycotting family Thanksgivings until I no longer have to be up at 4am for work the next day.
TheMathMajor 26
My fiance and I take turns since our parents live in different states. We did Thanksgiving with his family last year and Christmas with mine, so this year we're switching. It's worked out so far :)
HanBanana15 9
As someone who often chokes on my own spit because I'm super awkward and accident prone, I'm having trouble believing someone would do it on purpose, because it really sucks. Maybe he just inhaled too sharply before he was going to answer you. Either way, I hope you're able to work it out, and have a good Thanksgiving.
Bearsmomma 30
We're twins or something lol. I can absolutely use the exact words to accurately describe myself.
Enslaved 38
It might be all in the wording. I told my husband that I'm going to my parents' for Thanksgiving and if he'd like to come along with me I'd appreciate it.
cootiequeen4444 11
Wow. If i were your husband. I would contimue the passive agressive trend and say 'nah, I'll pass' solely because of your wording. I, ironically perhaps, would not appreciate that. On that note, he is a saint of he goes along with that and you shouldn't take advantage of it. Though I can't relate to requests in this wording. If asked things politely, I have extreme difficulty saying no, even if I really wanted to on the inside. my loved ones have taken advantage of this and it makes me sad sometimes. Don't be like those loved ones of mine to *your* loved ones. As it might make them sad though you might not know because they don't think it is a big enough of a deal nor is it worth the stress to argue. Just saying.
The_Dork_Knight 9
Your husband needs to learn how to swallow