Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...
nonsensical 26
That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.
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Comments (135)
darkthunda1324 6
LMFAO ?
ichinikis 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you need that type of medication while living at your parents house, either you're bad at sex, or you need to move out
mfmylifesrsly 30
What an ignortant thing to say. I have sex and still live with my parents. And just because someone doesn't last long doesn't mean they're bad.
cheeeksss 29
2, you sound like you'd be a great therapist..
jake_braves 25
I'd be so pissed at my parents for opening my package. I'm only 20 almost 21 and they don't open packages with my name. Wow..ridiculous.
bellydancer82 15
Who said his mom wasn't in HIS house visiting?
brezzyanna 17
I'm 16 and my parents don't open my stuff. Ever since I could open things myself they haven't! unless I've asked them too.
Norja 33
#2 Your comment was so stupid. If your name isn't on the package, you don't open it unless asked. It's called respecting privacy.
jayemerald17 25
It's also illegal
CyberHex 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No worries. It's your mom and I believe she wont make fun of you forever. She will forget.
Rinat_fml 26
Moms never forget anything.
jtthegr8 26
She will make fun of him forever for it because that's what parents do. Embarrass their children.
CyberHex 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not to generalize bro.
El_Boxeador 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Looks like that's hard situation to be in, so you could say that they worked
WordBea 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
overused pun :/
El_Boxeador 14
It's hard to admit, but you're right... It has been used for too long! I will use this opportunity to rise, learn and perform better next time!
MakeItStopWtf 12
Why did your second comment get thumbed down? That was a good one...
BestOrginalName 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get big, son!
MzZombicidal 36
I can see why your mom was smiling the entire time. Would have been rather "hard" to keep a straight face.
xdafuze 12
I hate when my parents open my mail
sweetbliss3 37
I hate illegal things, as well. especially when it's something like that, which is no one else's business.
SierraaaNicoleee 26
I never get my mail. My dad tells me it's his house so it's his mail.
MandieL 27
Tell him that that won't hold up in court.
BradyPatatey 8
That sucks
nonsensical 26
That's not awkward at all...
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't invite her to make a speech at your wedding...
nonsensical 26
That's when you do an Austin Powers and insist on the fact that it is not yours.
russfml 31
That's when his mom would present the book written by him about his longer lasting penis pills lol