Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML
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Top comments
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your wife found it funny :) congratulations on your wedding!
Nilorak 24
And the award for the best father goes to.
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Comments (105)
Earths_Venus 25
Wasn't your dad at the wedding?
TallMist 32
Read the FML.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
1/ Your dad didn't bother coming to one of the most important event in your life 2/ He is verbally abusive and by the sound of it homophobic I know he is your dad but it does not sound like he cares for you much. Some of our relatives are better out of our lives, even if they are our parents. I'm surprised your wife laughed so hard. If my husband had been insulted like that, especially on something dear to him, I would have been furious.
xebi 4
How is evidence that you married a woman evidence that you're gay? (I'm assuming that you're a man.) Homophobic bigots like him are so thick they don't even understand why that sort of thing makes sense. I'm sorry your dad is so unpleasant, OP. I'm sorry your wife thinks homophobia is funny too
Schizomaniac 24
Did you say "no ****" afterward? Clearly you must have forgotten that "no ****" automatically ungays everything. Example: "I'm planning a romantic getaway with the wife." = So gay. "Last night I jerked off two guys while another one jerked off on my forehead, no ****." = Not gay. Remember this for next time.
PresidentNorth 16
I'm happy you put this into perspective for me. Lol now everything in the world seems right.
zandalee 20
dad is obviously one in a million. thank God.
DivinePrince 18
Homophobia sure is funny! Right? RIGHT?!!!! - Signed, a Lesbian.
mpkpm 19
The guys that say these things are usually the ones who end up being gay..
GAeroNKissR 26
totally agree!! my POS step-dad always made sissy gay comments to my brother & nephew...but come to find out, he's emailing men on CL. F him
zombraingirl 11
And the dad of the year award goes to....
MzZombicidal 36
#10, guys have no desire to pose for pictures? Please explain the countless photos all over the world that say otherwise. Also, how is it gay that this MAN posed in photos during his wedding to his WIFE?
aecribb 14
I picture your dad being like the boy's dad in American Beauty.