Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML
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Top comments
NopeFuckThat 7
At least your wife found it funny :) congratulations on your wedding!
Nilorak 24
And the award for the best father goes to.
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Comments (105)
Octobia 5
It's kind of gay to me. LIKE SUPER GAY!!!
ctsmith86 4
Screw him. I'll look at your wedding photos. He
GuiLD15 7
at least she laughed instead of feeling offended. anyways I think she was laughing at the attitude of your sad lmao
badluckbryin 8
If you're a women.. Ew. If ur a guy.. Oh well, he's a miserable person.
OliversStory 7
Lol your story is on ifunny
mikaellikestacos 14
Punch him in the mouth show that you deserve respect
CandyApple88 13
Stop trying to please your Dad. He does not give a shit about you at all, evident by not attending your wedding. So keep in touch with your Mom, but pretend your Dad doesn't exist, seeing as that is how he is treating you.
avila_boy22 12
guess he's still into don't ask, don't tell
fantasyworld 39
They're both jackasses.
foxy4353 10
Wow, what great respectful parents.