Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my dad's WhatsApp profile picture was a very close up shot of his new wife's boob. None of us know how long he had this online. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, on my Facebook newsfeed, I noticed a photo of a coworker. In the comment section of the photo he and his wife had written "I love you" to each other. As a joke I commented "get a room". Turns out the woman with the same surname as my coworker wasn't in fact his wife, but his daughter. FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees when I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML
Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML
Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
1. Why did you need to know what the picture was of? 2. Why would you guess what it was if you couldn’t really see it?
RichardPencil 32
Looks like someone's got hoof-in-mouth disease.
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Comments (14)
RichardPencil 32
Looks like someone's got hoof-in-mouth disease.
Charlie Given 28
As the old saying goes: To assume is to make a ass of one's self ☺️
TwoBytesCarley 27
Actually the saying goes: To assume makes an ass out of you and me (ass-u-me).
ojoRojo 27
1. Why did you need to know what the picture was of? 2. Why would you guess what it was if you couldn’t really see it?
TxKitten 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You interjected yourself, without invitation, into another person's conversation, then proceeded to make an assanine comment without knowing what you were talking about. You're quite lucky you didn't get punched for making such an offensive comment about a man's wife. You're rude and a dick.
tounces7 28
It's only an asinine comment if he didn't actually think it was a literal cow.
TxKitten 8
True. But why would he assume it was a cow? And regardless of what the picture was, it was bad manners to insert himself into a conversation.
CRC_101 31
I don't think you know what asinine means.
dahthunderbird 8
yep, you defenitely deserved that one xD but hell it made me laugh tho ✌️🤣
tounces7 28
I doubt he will be as bothered by it as she would have if she heard it. And I also seriously doubt he's going to pass the comment along to her.
Slim87R 7
You could star in one of those "wanna get away?" commercials with this.
thomasthedankengine 11
it was hard for him to hear the truth
RichardPencil 32
Quickly tell everyone you're Hindu and cows are sacred. Yeah, that's it.
millsjoshua949 12
What the hell is wrong with you? Are people not allowed private conversations? Why would you "inject" yourself into the conversation? ydi