Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
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Top comments
nitemare0 17
No, it's an post from the afterlife, an FMAL.
thesunlord 15
Did you survive?
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Comments (22)
thesunlord 15
Did you survive?
nitemare0 17
No, it's an post from the afterlife, an FMAL.
Fa1lenAngel 2
<p>Don't you mean FMPL **** my previous life? He posted that in the after life but talking about his past life</p>
Fa1lenAngel 2
<p>Don't you mean FMPL **** my previous life? He posted that in the after life but talking about his past life</p>
Danne696 14
<p>This might be rude. If you only were 3m below the surface, couldn't you simply swim up yourself? I'm pretty sure your instructor would understand then.</p>
petert71 10
That could be dangerous for an untrained diver, but better than drowning. Sounds like the trained diver isn't properly qualified either or they would have recognized the problem - probably before entering the water.
Demon_of_Light 27
It takes at least one dive to become certified. If this is OP's first time, it's safe to assume that they were uncertified and thus required the instructor to be present at all times. Not to mention, given that it's the instructor's job to guide OP and keep them safe, they would be pretty ineffectual if they let the OP resurface without them and didn't provide assistance during an equipment malfunction.
apossessedbagel 14
Scuba gear includes weights and valved jackets that you can deflate or inflate to control your ascent or descent, respectively. If OP had it set so they were descending, it would have been very difficult to swim back up on whatever air they had left in their lungs. However, most scuba gear, if not all, has an extra mask on it in the event that one gets tangled or someone else has an emergency like the one OP had. In all, the dive leader should have recognized their own signal, given OP their bac
species4872 20
<p> You do not deflate the bouyancy vest so you become too negatively bouyant and sink like a rock, You can always swim back to the surface, (even if you've got to drop the weight belt), on one breath of air as long as you expell it on the way up otherwise your lungs will explode.</p>
Regulate 21
<p>Employee of the month contender right there.</p>
Alup132 22
I'd like a follow up, did you start choking, did you swim up, what happened?
asdlkj 5
In that case you either reach for his octopus (secondary regulator) or signal out of air
MamaChey 24
Thanks for clarifying what an octopus is, although I'm sure if you grabbed his "electric eel", it would've got his attention too!
evbu98 12
One, the breather is called a regulator. Two, this is udder bullshit, as a professional diver the guide or instructor would instantly know what you meant. ? this means all is good.
LyricaSilvan 30
I find it fascinating, 11, how you're chewing OP out for something as banal as not using the correct terminology, yet you can't tell the difference between "utter" and "udder." We're talking about scuba diving, not milking a cow.
cootiequeen4444 11
MOO
SomeRandomUser 19
<p>I'm think we need to change that signal.</p>
LadyAthena 20
Were you just flashing the thumbs up or wet you gesturing the thumb upwards? That small difference can be a big one.
species4872 20
<p> Always check your regulator at the surface. Your instructor is an idiot.</p> <p> </p>
TCRII 30
SCUBA - Some Come Up Barely Alive...