Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (339)
Crenchy 4
hahaha that funny! you can't take him serious eh! lol
domxxily 0
hahah thats funny but hes probably kidding
chokeabitch 0
I didn't take it seriously. I'm in the same type of relationship. I haven't been suggesting you get medication, only the morons crying murder.
peachee_26 0
He was probably kidding about the stairs part, but he's got every right to express his desire for you to terminate the pregnancy.
debixo 0
haha it's a joke obv..
SympathyearAbs 0
Comeback: No, that's what we're doing for you. Put in the deadly passive aggressive tone that insinuates that you're not only going to 'accidentally' push him down the stairs, but that you're also going to get him pregnant first.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
that would be a horrible comeback. also, you should go to biology 101 again. In reality, there's no such thing as male preggies because reality is not like your fetish anime pornos.
SympathyearAbs 0
I...know that...It's a joke.... You know, ha-ha? .... Okay, do you seriously....I mean...really?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Poe's Law also applies on FML. I've read many about as stupid things on here that were meant absolutely earnest. One example that I remember from the top of my head were multiple(!) people that thought a cat had only one claw on each paw. In short, 2 times out of 3, when you read something moronic on fml, it wasn't meant as a joke. Also, it wasn't funny anyway :P
SympathyearAbs 0
Okay. I can agree there are idiots here. And if my non existent (hypothetical for the sake of the argument) told me he was going to push me down stairs if I was pregnant, I would want to see his ass down some stairs. Your humor may not be like mine, because I think threatening to impregnate a bf is funny. Yes, I know, I am a demented person, but hey, that's why Charlie Chaplin was popular.
brndnftwiiin 3
Lol.
alldara 0
That's why that conversation is supposed to take place BEFORE sex. So that you're both on the same track if something happens.
Angizolo 0
lmaoo
cake88 0
My ex-boyfriend used to say that ALL THE TIME! At least he didn't say anything about wire hangers; I got that one sometimes too...