Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
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Top comments
amazinemo578 4
what? that's romantic
spady62287 0
WIN!
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Comments (342)
Uh_Oh_wz_here 0
rotfl too good needed that laugh i would say that to my girl and she would hit me and we would laugh
angel0811 0
hahahahahahaha not gonna lie thats funny
eskaggs10 0
I hope you did. he needs to be rewarded for being so clever.
Outspoken64 0
lol. that's hilarious
connormadden 5
amazing win
hsg2012 0
hahah...this is great!!! it's so hilarious!!!
wriptidez 0
get married first
katsuku 5
Your boyfriend is awesome.
annanonomus 0
YDI for being a **** and not saving this kind of stuff for marriage. Honestly, can no one save themselves for marriage these days??
annanonomus 0
What the heck? Why was my comment moderated?? All I said was: what can't anyone wait for marriage these days for that kind of stuff?
Cinn_fml 23
It was probably how you phrased it, if it sounded like you weren't being tolerant of other people's views, then it'll have been moderated. It does sound a bit like an oxymoron, but it kinda makes sense, I think.
LittleMagicWolf 7
LOL aww fyl. Although I think if I were you I'd have laughed and went with it.