Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BingleBop 18
Well at least you should be pretty good at German by the end if your stay. You always learn faster when you're forced to!
CammyGal 26
Why would you choose to go to Germany if you didn't know the language? You couldn't have expected the family to do everything for you. If you were forced to go, you still should have known beforehand and made an effort to learn.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
TwinkleToes7 15
Well if you visit a country shouldn't you know something in their language???
loganberrybat 11
You're going to Germany for two months and didn't bother to learn ANY German... Well done, surely you should think "even of the family speak English the rest of Germany might not!! Deserved!!
monnanon 14
you're right you can muddle your way through a lot but there are some glaring differences that will trip a person up if they do not speak the language at all. German is alao a language with male and female versions of words and inflection plays a large part in meaning. it is harder than it seems to learn.
Futacy 30
Don't worry, I think you'll pick up enough of the language to get around by the time you leave, just like you picked up your first language.
olpally 33
Should've learned the language anyways... That was pretty ignorant... I know you were told they'd speak English, but at least take some lessons and learn it so you can speak it to them.
Steffi 26
Do you spend money and time on language lessons, every-time you go to a foreign speaking country?
kt520 7
If I'm going to a different country that speaks a different language, of course I would spend some time learning the language. At the very least, learn a few key phrases to help you out "where is the bathroom?" "How much?" Etc.
monnanon 14
@66 you should always go to a country knowing at least please and thank you and the good day greetings. Always take a phrasebook too and at least make an effort to use the native language.
smokecloud_ 37
66 this is why everyone hates americans. we get all pissed off when foreigners come to our country and dont speak english but its ok to visit another country and not know shit? i think not. op totally deserved it.
olpally 33
#66 I've never been to a foreign country, but I know i would sure as hell make an effort to learn the language if I was going outside the USA. I'd like to learn something new than be stupid and ignorant. That's for damn sure.
Futacy 30
66- No, you should spend ten minutes a day with a phrasebook or a lesson on youtube so that you will know enough to have a small conversation. And whether or not you are planning a trip to a foreign country, you should still try and learn a useful foreign language anyway. It helps with your cognitive skills, your multitasking skills, your mathematical skills, and your English grammar.
Steffi 26
WOW, the ignorance in your comments is astounding. I know you'll most likely fail to see what I'm talking about, but that's expected of people like you.
monnanon 14
oh do please enlighten us to a wisdom we cannot possibly grasp. don't get pissy because no one agreed with you.
Slavgaard 16
Best way to learn..total emersion..GL
sky_surfer79 6
Absolutely perfect set up. Learn quickly to survive.
KiddoKS 19
sprechen in Deutsch OP
CreepInTheCorner 11
Ja es ist...
perdix 31
Dummkopf!!! Why would you go to Germany if you didn't speak German? I notice the OP's location wasn't listed, but I'm guessing it's not Australia, Canada or Britain or any of the other English-speaking countries that prefer soccer over obesity.
Futacy 30
Damn...
Raivyn_Grimm 9
Honestly, if they just use hand gestures and slowly pronounced nouns, like "coffee", "pizza", "tea", "milk", and the like, yuo should be fine. A lot of german nouns sound almost exactly like english. Since, you know, english is a germanic language. Other good words to know; "Zimmer" = room, "Badezimmer" = bathroom, "Toilette" = (what else?) toilet, and "Zucker" = sugar.
punkyboy 11
maybe you went to the wrong house and you are with a very confused german family that doesn't understand what your saying