knifewow
Ashgrove, Australia
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Shinobi_3
United States
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
zztopspinner
United States
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
hurts
Canada
911 please
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Anonymous
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
OuchImAMoron
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Old Bridge, United States
Reflex
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
breza
Slovenia
Let it bleed
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Top comments
Iwannarock1 19
ummm, that was dumb.
Mangascribbler 19
You're a bleeding idiot, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
TheBiggerBoot 7
You're an idiot, and I'm sorry FML can ban me again but waving after a fly with a knife? OP is the reason we can't have nice things.
GhostFox 34
I am guessing you were doing something else with the knife originally, then the fly decided to harass you. If so, that sucks, and try to remember to put the knife down next time. If that's not the case... Next time, don't use a knife.
Jaelkus 28
I'm sure this would be a moment god himself could relate too. "Was trying to smite this guy with lightning I missed and hit my shoulder. You could say I'm shock!"
HaleyMeredith 13
Where's the YDI? Cause I mean....
NavEntity 12
Why isn't there a YDI button?
the_bammit 5
Yeah why does this have only "agree with op" options? Seems cheap
InsanePPG 25
How was that little fly able to carry such a large knife?
elainebarish 8
This should be the top comment
Twid 16
Where's the YDI button when you need it
the_bammit 5
I don't like either of the options. No way that could happen to me. YDI, sorry op. so not going to vote the top option either. If it had been "you deserve it" , I would pick that.
Rangeralex92 9
Only putting "could have happened to me" because there's no "you deserved it" button
Migole 36
Why is there a "this could've happened to me" ?? No, I want to vote YDI. Nobody likes the new buttons FML-Team.