Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
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Top comments
uxoriouswidow 0
That's what real men do. It isn't a legitimate kill unless your body is smeared with the victim's entrails.
marathdamane91 2
congratulations on catching and killing a fly it's quite hard
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Comments (75)
herduliekmudkips 0
FURST
Cristaderzi 0
OP is a WARRIOR!!
asianwolf 2
ydi for having OCD.
marathdamane91 2
congratulations on catching and killing a fly it's quite hard
Monikabug 9
So what OP? It's a FLY. Teeny tiny, not like it's insides are going to ruin your t-shirt or anything. Wash your hands. Congrats on catching it though.
reyemrein 0
^ needs to calm down. It may have changed since then but #2 says nothing about killing children.
BMaC101 0
I think they are a troll. *Nods sagely.*
suppressed08 2
*wipes blood on shirt* THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! (highlander)
kogaluver424 0
just wash your shirt and get over yourself... honestly
CallMeHush 1
@41 :D
FYLDeep 26
At least he didn't smear it on the food he was eating.
philliesman4 2
I agree Big **** its a fly iys bot like the world's going to explode just because you got a stain on your shirt. I bet you're going to cry to your mommy now aren't you.
kamkak 0
ydi...dont wipe guts on ur shirt
mariahrawks 0
that's grody. js.
Fedor_is_KING 0
"Shinobi" is right. Thats sone Karate kid stuff there. Nicely done.
gunta 0
Wait! You can catch flies with your hands?!?! Woah ninja
suppressed08 2
He isnt a ninja - you cant see a ninja ;D he just owns on every level
CJ090 0
valid point
suppressed08 2
YOU MONSTER! :D
The_good_times 0
The force is strong in this one.
melizza 0
@snickerdoodle. your a dumb ass
MadaZer0 8
16ILF
suppressed08 2
@16 i looked at that for about 20 seconds before i caught on :P
MadaZer0 8
Lol
ndiesal 0
Well played, ma'am, well played.
YOUbeTROLLIN 0
YDI for being a douche and killing the fly
MoonTiger 4
Sooo... by that logic it's not bad to kill a person either, because there are still a lot of us? Logic fail
rawr_iliketacos 0
no pun intended?
akagron 0
exactly.