Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Creepy crawlies
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Loofah
Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Act of kindness
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Creepy Crawly
Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
Get it off me!
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
Hey, if someone kept squishing you against someone's back in the shower, I bet you'd bite them too.
Wizzlbang 10
Earwigs don't bite, OP. Even their pinchers wont leave any sort of characteristic bug bite. Sounds like you got more than Earwigs in your loofas lurking about your house.
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Comments (107)
Welshite 40
So you continued using the loofah even though you must have felt the painful bites as they were happening. You deserve it.
theunderachiever 6
How the heck would she/he know the bites were related to the loofah?
eksyneet 23
#16, because the bites have been happening during the process of using the loofah. basic logic. no?
theunderachiever 6
I mean, maybe, but I dont think i would be able to make that connection while showering
ironichalibut 24
I think I would notice my loofa pinching my while I washed my back, maybe that's just me..
99megster 15
1) Who said they were painful? I'm assuming they were like mosquito bites, when you don't actually feel it happen but you find them later
Jemm_fml 29
^Clearly you haven't gotten a serious mosquito bite that feels like someone just jabbed you woth a pin.
eksyneet 23
#28, mosquito bites aren't painful because mosquitos inject an anesthetic in your skin. earwigs don't. although it's been established that earwigs don't bite at all, so this conversation is meaningless.
Jemm_fml 29
Coming from someone who actually lives in the tropics, I can 100% testify against that. Aedes Aegypti mosquitos bites you actually feel upon impact. Burning and stinging comes later but the actual bite feels like a pinprick.
ironichalibut 24
Earwigs have a noticeable pinch, at least the ones around where I live. I know I'd notice one pinching me in the shower. Mosquitoes also sometimes have a noticeable pricking sensation around here, it depends on where they hit though, and they're size. I think it's an anticoagulant they deploy, not an anesthetic. I'm no entomologist though. Come on people.
Ameel_fml 19
Didn't anybody play with bugs as a kid? Unless it's a really tiny earwig, you generally feel the pinch. An It feels a bit like being pinched by a person's fingernails. The big ones also have a habit of clamping down really hard so you sometimes have to pick them off your skin. So yeah, OP would have felt it. But even if he/she didn't, the earwig probably would have fallen down the drain after the first pinch.
Wimoweh 10
Mosquitoes release saliva into your skin when they bite you. If you leave them alone, or don't notice it, the suck up the saliva when they're done, and fly away. Generally though, people swat them, and there's not enough time for them to finish, and the itching you feel is their saliva. Trust me, I'm a lion.
ironichalibut 24
Did no one else pay attention during their science or biology classes here? Do some Internet searches, the Internet is an amazing tool. When used right, you might just learn something. Rather than just posting incorrect things, or supporting someone's incorrect comment, while thumbing down people who are stating facts. And If you thumb me down now, I will become more powerful than you can possibly Imagine..
CrookedCook 14
^ jesus, how conceded can you get?
ironichalibut 24
I think you mean "conceited" Conceded- to admit something is true after denying it's truth Conceited- Excessively proud of oneself.
happylappy 21
@65 I knew you were a Leo before I checked your profile!
eksyneet 23
#50, I was, of course, talking about common mosquitos, not tropical ones.
CharresBarkrey 16
61 - Despite what you seem to believe, not everything on the Internet is true.
ironichalibut 24
Yeah, i never claimed evrything on the internet is true. Do you know the origin of the internet? A broad network of computers between universities and government institutions originally designed to share imformation and ideas. The internet is inherently a tool of knowledge, it's full of real, factual imformation, for those who have time to sift through all the idiocy. IE: Breadfish, totally not real. imformation from a universities website, proably reliable FML.com, funny site, but far from shared reality, Encyclopedia Britannica.com, chock full of real, proven facts Just because i get thumbed down on FML, doesn't mean that I'm wrong either. ;P People here seem to get off on pointing out other peoples mistakes. I'm as guilty of this as anyone, but at least i check my facts.
ironichalibut 24
Where my grammar nazi's at? I weep for you, the ones who have thumbed me down, and thumbed Cook up. He didn't even use the right word dammit! Haha
finnrambo 13
if they're on OP's back it could just be bedbugs or spiders... I doubt it's from showering and the loofah
Dthnte 15
'Lion' ... The itching is caused by the inflammation - your body releases histamine in response to something jabbing into your skin, and blood runs to the surface..
VeganVampyre 27
62- I can get very conceded when I realize I was wrong about something, I have no problem with that. How conceded can YOU get?
Jemm_fml 29
Despite me getting thumbed down to hell (even though I still stand by my statements) I'm just gonna take a moment to appreciate the fact that we're all here arguing about mosquitoes and earwigs. FML, you are truly like my family. In every way. Except that I can't have sex with any of you. Well maybe I can but it'll be awkward to cyber on someone's FML.
EUPHORlA 12
Can't believe how serious you're taking this.
Samuraiguy 8
Wtf is a earwig
xlord 27
It is a google search away :P
Enslaved 38
Google it! Warning! You'll be totally grossed out!
ironichalibut 24
It's a type of hairpiece that fits over your ear. They're designed to make people who have big ears look like they have normal sized ears.
flockz 20
it's actually mini beards you put on your toes. the name is completely irrelevant.
Bcfrmkc816 17
If so then do it and tell us
groovycrazyjoe 18
I am so confuse I research earwig and could it be possible she's talking about the bug or the thing that goes on the ear
flockz 20
i already told you guys what earwigs are. i don't know what makes mini toe beards that hard to believe.
ShyAnn29 15
I actually looked it up: Any of various elongate insects of the order Dermaptera, having a pair of pincerlike appendages protruding from the rear of the abdomen.
ouibijou 15
Pincher bugs. They're disgusting.
lennelleong 33
Didn't anyone of you read Enid Blyton when you were 7-10? C'mon seriously!
MusicLover72 7
XD
pam241 15
that's gross and creepy. I'm sorry
xBethanyC 15
I researched earwigs before and they don't bite humans they eat crops
Ameel_fml 19
#39: They'll pinch humans if you try to pick them up. But yeah, it's unlikely that an earwig is the cause of OP's recurring bug bites.
Cheeley 17
Hey, if someone kept squishing you against someone's back in the shower, I bet you'd bite them too.
lolaroxie 12
That awkward moment when you try to think of a bug pun and come up with nothing
DocBastard 40
Your app-roach to this comment bugs me. I may bee a bit waspish here, but you should have flead while you had the chance. That's my 2 centipede's worth, at least.
29dear 16
#22, thank you for being awesome.
flockz 20
you and puns moth not be meant to bee. if in the moment puns flea your mind, don't slug about, but rather snail a comment that is funny in another way, man-tis!
rick1 8
Wouldn't you notice the pinching pain and look at the loofah before MULTIPLE marks appear? Weird.
FrankHotpants 31
I suppose you can be glad it only occurred on your back considering you use the loofah all over your body
theycallmekitty 13
Those bites could have been in much more unfortunate places....count yourself lucky.
dancinwookie 21
Exactly. Thank god it was just OP's back! Oh things could've been SO much worse. Don't get me wrong, FYL, bites on the back would suck, but one time I got shocked by some electrical fencing in my "meat clamp"...pretty funny story, actually... but I'd imagine it'd be equally as unpleasant.
therealafroninga 10
Lol "meat clamp"
jem970 19
Meat clamp? WTactualF?
dancinwookie 21
#46- I like to make up ridiculous names for genitals. Just to see people's reactions really. My comedy really only works in real life, because people know how ridiculous of a person I really am then and can gauge my levels of sarcasm and non-seriousness. FYI I was climbing over an electrical twine wire; they are commonly used in Ireland to keep cattle in their pasture. I had no idea such a thing existed. My ex didn't believe me that it was electrical, so he grabbed the thing full on. He should've believed me.
Wizzlbang 10
Earwigs don't bite, OP. Even their pinchers wont leave any sort of characteristic bug bite. Sounds like you got more than Earwigs in your loofas lurking about your house.
rosenkrieger223 24
I was actually about to point this out, but since you beat me to it, I'll just second your post because it's completely correct.
Ameel_fml 19
That was my first thought too. Not only do they pinch, but they either stay attached to your skin (in which case OP would have easily picked it off) or they just fall off after the first pinch (in which case it would have gone down the drain).
andiboo 12
Wait, wouldn't the bug have eventually "moved out" of the loofa once it was used due to all the soap and water? Or have died, perhaps..?
Caitie_kid 8
I looked up earwig bites and although they may be caused by the pincers, they definitely look like they leave marks.
Ameel_fml 19
They might leave a tiny mark from the pinch. But it's unlikely to pinch you multiple times, let alone leave multiple visible marks all over your back. OP's situation does sound more like bedbugs. Seriously, hasn't anybody here been pinched by an earwig before? Maybe I was just a weird kid who liked collecting bugs too much. :/
x0xcarolinex0x 4
I've been pinched by an earwig. And OP would notice it right away when it happens because it hurts!!! The earwig that pinched me pinched my thigh when I was sitting down and let go immediately (it felt like a human with long nails pinched me) and played dead. So the OP would definitely feel it right when it happened
Zomg_Okay 27
Thanks, OP. My shower routine for the next few days will now have paranoid loofah-examining thrown in.