knifewow
Ashgrove, Australia
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Shinobi_3
United States
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
zztopspinner
United States
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
hurts
Canada
911 please
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Anonymous
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
OuchImAMoron
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Old Bridge, United States
Reflex
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
breza
Slovenia
Let it bleed
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Top comments
Iwannarock1 19
ummm, that was dumb.
Mangascribbler 19
You're a bleeding idiot, OP.
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Comments (62)
UpUpUpUrs 6
The didn't surprise me after having seen the location as Australia (Queensland).
LyricaSilvan 30
Maybe you should stop using knives until you've got enough common sense not to wave them around mindlessly.
IronicDreamer169 8
Darwin awards calling...smh
WalrusSweG 1
you went full retard, never go full retard
Tsukiyomi 16
At least you don't live in Brisbane. I went there once, there were no flies. If you stabbed yourself in the shoulder there you might really be stupid
Celestyna 16
Ashgrove is in Brisbane
Foos 12
that's not a knife...
PandaBeer 15
This is a perfect example of Darwinism
CrazyJolteon 0
Your a bloody idiot
Celestyna 16
I live in ashgrove too :D
Alex_7759 13
I hope the fly laughed at you.