knifewow
Ashgrove, Australia
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Shinobi_3
United States
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
zztopspinner
United States
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
hurts
Canada
911 please
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Anonymous
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
OuchImAMoron
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Old Bridge, United States
Reflex
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
breza
Slovenia
Let it bleed
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Top comments
Iwannarock1 19
ummm, that was dumb.
Mangascribbler 19
You're a bleeding idiot, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
droid1126 25
Your flies have knives? Sheesh, ours just buzz around all the time.
KungFuJack3 16
Thats Australia for ya
vandj8 9
I'm pretty sure this deserves the Darwin Award.
trucker2 33
No- no your doing it wrong. You must catch it with chop-sticks
CamBamShamDaMan 26
I wish it was ydi cause you did.... just get a fly swatter
trucker2 33
So if it was a spider - chainsaw
cuz803 46
You bloody fool
michu_fml 18
Where is the YDI button when you need it? Cause OP you are so stupid for waving a knife around, you are lucky that you stabbed yourself in the shoulder instead of your heart or someone else's eye!
booperdooper222 10
Bloody hell OP!!! I'm sorry I'll leave now XD.
iSsjGohan 18
Ch...Chara?
druckey 5
Guys - the OP is in Australia. Have you not heard about the type of animals there? It would not surprise me if they needed a knife to protect themselves from a fly.
LyricaSilvan 30
Are you seriously trying to justify this? I admit your point was made with reasonable intent, and it makes sense that OP would HAVE the knife due to the wildlife of the area, but the fact of the matter is that it's stupid to wave a sharp object around like an idiot, fly or not.
species4872 20
Really, there is no wildlife in Australia that is a threat to humans, none that is that a knife would be of any use against.